So Many Missing Days

There are dozens more entries in the detail babbling blog than there are here and this is the easier less time consuming blog so there is not explanation for the difference except that the babbler must babbler even when I don't really feel like recording the daily life.

Softball was as weird as ever today (and it's been weird long the way). Coach has issues. Tried to punish me for thinking about moving to another team because of the drama and disrespect Assistant Coach and now I am getting. He said I wasn't pitching today. So I told another team I would sub for them. As is usually the case, he was coaching his other team when our game started and we only had eight players show up so the person he asked to do the coaching asked me to pitch. So I pitched. I had to tell the other coach he had to find another sub. Did Coach know he didn't have enough players when he told me I was not going to pitch? I he just that bad a Coach or is he just that vindictive? As I said, weird day.

Still, I am determined to have fun, so I did.

New Cards

Relaxing day, I think. Went to somewhere, then to softball but there was no softball because it was cancelled so I went to Harpo's and had a snack from Pickle's and played a few games with him and then headed to meet Helen for dinner at the World Buffet and then headed to cards at the new game I was invited to by softball umpires. I ost $30 but had fun. It was a 45 minute ride so I might not do it every Saturday night, but I have an invite. Home after midnight, but you know the date is relative. Writing, finally sleep.

In case it matters.

Rinse, Repeat, Again

Food is my only friend outside of softball and work these days. Too many calories. But yum. Never enough. Blah blah blah. Work is wonderful. Balancing office work at the computer, revising emergency plans and evacuation plans and so on and so forth with visiting the many facilities and properties owned by the county. Getting to know people and enjoying the respect of the title. Important job, they tell me. Home alone, again naturally.

Narf :)

After Midnight Again

Maybe it is because I have nothing planned for tomorrow that takes much brain power, but after 16 hours out at work and then at the softball fields and feeling the absolute limits of the belt that tells me it is time to stop growing the belly, I ate a salad and a eggplant parm sub and half a meatball parm sub all cold and then a cannoli and still I want more.

And how was your day?

Sunday Softball Sadness

I woke up tired after giving a lot of energy and receiving little back last night, but I showered and headed out to the fields for the 10am game only to find out the other team forfeited earlier in the week and Coach didn't bother letting me know. Disrespect. Inconsideration. They probably posted the information on Facebook. Thing is, a couple of players do not even have a Facebook, but they somehow knew not to show up for the first game. Then, the game. The usual disrespect from the two children and again, Coach did nothing. Finally one said don't be stupid after I called out to Coach about something and I said let's not call each other stupid and the other child told me to stop trying to coach and let Coach coach the team.

I pulled coach aside between innings and told Coach I'll be moving to another team next season and asked him to put in another pitcher so they can get started getting used to not having me as their pitcher. At least three other teams have been literally begging me to join them for a few years, so it is time to move on. The disrespect is enough to make playing with what used to be my team no fun anymore.

Sad. I did well, shutting down the other team, striking out several. I went three for three, triple, two singles, and I also walked. I scored all three times. We won. But winning isn't everything. Still sad.

Pushing For More

Slept in late, played and watched softball all afternoon, called Harpo and Tinman and went to help put a bed together then went to dinner at the Chinese buffet then went to Harpo's to chat and feel good about the laughter and friendliness I brought (Harpo doesn't laugh much, but I was in the mood I used to get in a lot, the mood to selflessly entertain a friend and it worked well). I get the altruistic reward and the good feeling of helping others, but I don't get the selfless caring about me. Maybe I never will. I wonder if I ever have. If I did, it didn't last.

Somehow, today, I gave the way I used to. Feels good. Alone, sad, but good.

Narf :)

Work, TV, Food, Sleep

Working full time takes so many waking hours out of a life. Energy is depleted by the time I get home, so TV is the primary activity more and more often as driving an hour and getting home really late is not appealing anymore. Staying home alone leaves little more than food as the great physical thrill for each day. Sleep comes, reluctantly, as I stay awake hoping something more will come along. A friend. Love. Motivation to take life seriously again.

This blog has no readers (or few) mostly because it is depressing whining negative perspective. All the crap of life that doesn't go just right gets dumped into words in these daily blogs and I move along back to the offline real world happy again.

Processing is no fun to read I suppose.

But if you want to know me...

Narf :)

Days Pass Silently

Sometimes there is little to say. Sometimes there is nothing to say. Sometimes there is nothing positive to say so energy is not wasted on the negative after releasing it in the whining complaining wah wah or babbling distractions. Day three of the IS-300 training went well. Ending early, I headed to the Toyota dealer that was across the street from where I bought the car and they said two hours to change the oil and they might charge more depending on what they find. They let you know up front they are looking for ways to charge more. Honest crooks forged in capitalism. I did not want to stretch my lunch hour to three hours so I headed back toward the office. I stopped at a Walmart on the way and found they had a $44 deal on my particular oil change (Toyota requires expensive synthetic oil and the dealer wants $84). At least an hour and a half there. I stopped at the neighborhood Chinese buffet for lunch. Then headed back to the office.

After work I drove to the closest Walmart near here and found they would be at least two hours for the oil change. I'll try again 6:30 one morning next week. The il change is way way way way way overdue (I must have mentioned when it was due somewhere back in this blog). Whatever, aye?

Gonna put headphones on now and listen to internet TV. Feel free to converse anytime.

Narf :)

Missing TV Friends

I really miss watching TV with friends. I don't even have friends to talk about favorite shows anymore. I really got used to watching shows with Jackson over the years and adjusting to life without a friend is taking it's toll. It is much more noticeable now that I am working and have little time for TV.

Are those Whipporwills on TV?

Narf lol :)

Blogger Wants Me To Go

Ok, so I don't blog as much as I used to. It is time to articulate that this site, Blogger, is one big reason. The Dashboard was always one of the best features for accessing and organizing multiple blogs. The Dashboard is gone and months of complaints to Google has fallen on deaf ears. If I find another blog site that suits multiple blogs better, I will move there.

A Dashboard is supposed to give simple access to a website. This one no longer does.

Life With Eb

Just another day in this cramped dirty space with this weird distant roommate. He put on a movie and I ask about it and he gives me yes no answers, no invitation to come watch it with him. He likes his privacy. I am tired of sitting in my room. Bored tonight. The child inside wants to come out to play buy he's been completely not welcoming. Not rude, just not welcoming. One word answers to a dozen conversation starters. He's the kind of person/roommate who does not acknowledge a sneeze. So I remain in my room and search for another roommate on roommate dot com and eat spaghettios from a can with a hot dog bun smeared with fat free mayo cuz I don't feel like anything warm to eat cuz it's over 80 degrees in this place and I don't feel like cleaning cuz he's watching a movie in the dark and the kitchen is wide open to the living room. There is no comfortable place to sit in the living room anyway, even if I clear the clutter from the very old couches to make myself a seat.

The good news is I am ansy after not going out to play all week. I played ruzzle. I could fall asleep very easily, but I want to share some fun. Love would be a fair substitute lol :)

Feel free to jump in anytime...

Narf :)

Unsettled

That must be why I am not blogging regularly. Then again, the changes to Google-Blogger's "Dashboard" has a lot to do with my not coming here as much as I used to. Google apparently wants active users gone. I am writing regularly. When I get home on time from work, I cook something in the microwave or pick up some food or wine about not having food and not wanting to cook in the dirty kitchen while watching TV on the internet. Then, when Eb gets home I switch from TV to searching the net for ways to find roommates and friends. Lately, every other night I stay up late and then crash early the next night. Actually, this pattern was not very consistent until this week. Still, blogging is not happening. You may have noticed.

Narf :)

Rarely Enough Time

Once again there is not enough time for babbling or for editing and uploading the other writings I've been doing for the blogs or any other sort of publishing endeavor. At east I remember to return here for a brief synopsis of the day, in case it matters. Slept in for a change, now that the formal full-day observation part of the ratings committee work is done. We had a 1pm game and we won, not because we played any better than last week, but because the other team simply could not hit and did not field well. I watched a few games afterward, then headed here, stopping along the way for food. Laundry filled the evening, though I did not get it done because Eb said he wanted to do his but then he didn't get home until 1:30am so I could have finished all of my laundry. Roommates.

I wandered Meetup between washing and folding clothes. No connections, but I continued reaching out so that keeps hope shining bright. I added some entries to some of the seldom visted blogs, though links will wait for another time. Rarely enough time to do all I want to do, and that is life. Work will require more coffee than usual tomorrow as I will not get a whole lot of sleep. So much to do, so much to do.

Hope your day smiled :)

Not Today, Again

Days roll past, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, take your pick. Even April Fool's are not keeping up with the time passing. Living in limbo, loving much of the experience and yet, not sitting comfortably all the time and only partially relaxing and not sleeping enough so the toll will show after a while. Party at Sarducci's new house tonight with the usual gaming crowd. Softball tomorrow, so sleep soon. Work is wonderful, to say the least (and I am saying the least). Still haven't gotten the car in for service. Writing daily in letters to J and/or my notes and other places (see the last few entries) and introduction sites like roommates and meetup as slowly work on the project of finding a bigger place to live. The new jobs not a hassle and I have no kids here, but it's sure nice talking to you, yeah, it's sure nice talking to you.

I miss you, even though you may have never been here.

Narf :)