Sunday, September 30, 2018

Another Week, Another Load of Laundry

Life gets that exciting around here, in case you were thinking of visiting or reach out and becoming part of the life of the writer of the words you are reading. The details exploded on basically one topic in one entry, in case it matters. If you don't know what I am talking about, read the side bat entries or just ask. You can ask, right?

So here it is, Sunday afternoon. No softball today and up very late last night (well past sunrise), so I woke about 2PM and have watched football and started laundry and cooked and ate a meal and packed some more stuff and here we are. Yes, you read correctly, packed more stuff. My mind is planning on moving again, even though there is no concrete plan and I haven't looked at any places and the possible roommate is a serious stretch for multiple reasons (financial, experience, interests, and more... perhaps we'll explore further in details). The phone has been silent, while I have a lot of social activities with different people, everybody has their own daily life and I am not a daily part of it. I read some Tweets and Facebook posts for those closest, but that is bittersweet because it reminds me that instead of sending me a text or email, they post a public message to anyone. Nothing special about our relationship. No sharing in daily life. Maybe it's social media's influence and maybe its just me not developing daily life relationships by holding out for the one. Someday, maybe I'll share daily life with someone again. Until then, here we are, sharing daily life, as well as we can. It takes two though, nudge nudge.

Narf too lol :)

Mad Impulsive Spending Plus

$561.38 at Costco and that's not all. Another $50 or so elsewhere, including a buffet dinner. All I wanted to do was kill time between softball and a party. Picking up some more protein drinks and a razor was all I stopped in for. I was hungry, but did not eat or buy food. I simply wandered the isles and one impulsive item after another leaped into the cart. 25 items, according to the receipt. Nobody was around to talk any sense in me, including me. It all became a landslide (or avalanche) of I could really use this in a new place. Yes, imagining (visualizing, even) myself in a place where I would actually use the kitchen and bathroom, storing stuff in each, well, stuff just jumped into the cart. Details may be elsewhere.

We lost, as usual. Te players don't listen to me at all and the guy who is coaching doesn't get them to listen either so they keep making the same mistakes and give the other team six to ten extra outs in many innings. Hitting is inconsistent, but it's not executing the fundamentals that give us no chance at wins. Maybe they'll do better next season. Then, after shopping, the party for the om of one of the regulars in our group (ten to twelve regulars, eight are in a constantly chattering text message group). Party, games, stuffed, tired, fun. It took a half hour to unpack the car and the stuff. It's all in three new storage bins ready for the move. If it happens, when it happens, so what's happening yaaas?

Narf :)

Friday, September 28, 2018

Am I Going To Do It Again?

I really can't afford to adopt another person and yet, when someone earns half what you earn, living with them generally means giving more than they do and my track record sucks when it comes to taking care of myself ahead of others. Putting myself first is not my favorite thing to do. I fell asleep thinking about this and I don't know exactly what I am going to do, but this I know...

Thursday, September 27, 2018

Was Falling Asleep

I was sitting the entire day in four back-to-back training sessions so I so I laid down and played Fishdom (I have four tanks now) and before long I nodded off. I decided to eat instead. Fat free turkey and some condiments. A few slices were not enough so I put four more slices on three slices of 40 calorie bread, put on the Hulu, and chowed down. Stan Against Evil. I wish I could remember who told me to watch Stan Against Evil. It is just stupid enough to amuse me when I am desperate for distraction. And here we are. First time back in a while. Voice-to-text has been my method of release of late.

In case it Matters.

Narf. :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Lost in Oblivion

This blog, this life, the love radiating out may be lost in oblivion, but it radiates anyway. This life goes on (obla dee obla dah, ya know), and so does this blog, for what it's worth, in case it matters. The longing to share brings me back here even as every day I find more clarity about how many ways I do not fit into this human culture and how challenging people can be when they come near. The opened sets off their defenses and there are no words to help them understand why. Mot do not want words, they must react. Most simply stay away and the violent reactions have not happened in some time. On the other hand, I've helped people keep a safe distance more and more. Is that innocence thinning, weakening, lost?

Sitting in a large meeting room waiting for the next seminar to start. Two today at the same location in the same room. Very convenient. They are serving food before each too. The usual American breakfast, bacon, cheese covered scrambled eggs, hash browns, mini-cheese breads, and a fruit and cubed cheese platter. I was 178.6 this morning in spite of the Brazilian buffet pig out on Saturday, so I indulged. I also had some fruit. Alas, the food was luke warm, but still, food. Yesterday was just three protein drinks, the third around midnight. I suppose this is food blog territory, but I haven't been uploading (perhaps you've noticed), so I'm dumping here. I have been talking-to-text so one of these days dozens of blog entries will suddenly appear. I am doing my best not to yawn. The games have been keeping me up late. Especially Fishdom. I like the little electronic fish images talking to me and bubbling up little red hearts when I touch the screen. Ego must love the whole god-trip. I just opened the fourth aquarium and have three stars and full tanks in the first two with one star and near capacity in the third. I think I would do ok in the future with an AI companion. Logic sweeps me off my feet almost as much as honesty, vulnerability, and innocence. I suppose that is logical because logic is all three.

So how are you?

Narf :)

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Gone, But...

Not forgotten? Or maybe not gone, but just silent. Forgotten? Sounds sad, if it happens, but how would we know if we remain silent? As for me, since this is my blog, I've been babbling to myself using voice-to-text on the phone and have not made time (or had motivation) to copy and paste from the emails to myself to a notepad where I would edit and create entries. Dozens of entries are in that pipeline and it's reaching the point where I forgot where I left off and some entries may be repeated and some may be lost. I just wanted you to know.

In case it matters.

Narf :)

Monday, September 17, 2018

So Much Laundry, So Little Attention Span

Yes, see, if I remembered to move the wash into the dryer when the wash was done, or even if I remembered to put the was in once the tub filled with water, laundry day would not drag on into the wee hours of the night like this, but here we are. I just folded last items and the bed has clean bedding and I could have caught up on this and other bogs between washes but instead, all I did was watch football, cook a little, east a little, check email, and clean the room. Three boxes were emptied and two bags of trash were filled, along with a bin of shredder material. I skipped the Sunday softball because my team had a bye and nobody told me anything about the ratings so I am accepting the silent dismissal and handing in my silent resignation. Once t was the most organized and biggest league in town, Now it is a mess and not fun anymore.

So my time was used wisely and I feel very good about all I accomplished and I enjoyed watching football and dreaming. The roommate site messages I sent last night produced a message from a customer service person on the site and from an actual person looking to share living space. I was beginning to think the profiles were 99% fake and I was simply not right for the 1%. So I wrote a typically long and revealing response (somewhere, out there... four blog posts were inspired).

Hope you enjoyed your day (and evening and night) too.

Wish you were here. :)

Narf :)

Sunday, September 9, 2018

Were've I Been?

Where've you been? As I glance around my online written gardens and, for the moment, this virtual cyber space created by words, I wonder... is anybody looking for me? Did anybody notice I was gone for a while? I have some entries to upload that were spoken or written during the past two weeks, but... hello? (hello, hello).

I played the phone games a lot during the down time, but was outside waiting to play the next softball game each day for the past week. They call it the world series, but only two teams come from outside the U.S. (Toronto and Vancouver from Canada). Somewhere around fifty cities participate sending one or two teams for each division. Sixty fives teams arrived for the division I play in and we finished ninth (though I think the people running the tournament did not know what they were doing and made mistakes in the brackets that may have affected the outcome. They refused to post the brackets and that is the first time I've ever been to a tournament that refused to post brackets. Fishy business, so Tampa gets a D- rating for putting on the show).

I'll be back with more, in case it matters.

Narf :)

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Normal Human Week

Poor tournament, no wins, poor vacation, no me-time, poor diet, limited controls. I could have saved the mney and enjoyed my vacation differently, but it wasn't all bad. Just need to do it differently next time. Find a way to have private space and private time.

I can do better.

Narf. :)

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Should Have Spent More

Ok. Off the seat now trying to type without waking the two sleeping people three feet away in the next bed in this tiny room in this mid-low priced motel that I booked tentatively and would have likely changed if I was sure of the sharing situation but they both were not definitely until the last few days, one just showing up tonight, too late for three in one bathroom with my current needs.

Laying on my side under the covers to keep the light to a minimum but also to keep weight off my behind to let it rest and heal as much as it can (but that’s another story get it? Butt :p so anyway) I type with one finger and no voice to text because the hunger to share is so powerful this is the best way I know how to feel a little less alone at the moment. There is no comfortable chair in the lobby, in fact there is no lobby actually as the breakfast area is three tiny tables across a few feet from the front desk. At least they have free breakfast, not that I'll eat what they have with my gut, for what it’s worth. I probably won’t be eating much tomorrow at all, especially not in the morning. The bowel-issues diet continues (the previously mentioned another story, in case you have not been keeping up).

I really should be sleeping, but here we are again. It might even be time to say welcome back my friends to the show that never ends if only there was not two sleeping bodies just a few feet away. I'm even seeking music. Such is the mood and hunger for sharing tonight. Unfortunately, this trip will be a waste of money as there will be no vacation, no personal party, no off the field self-time.

I just realized that I learned that spending more for privacy would have been well worth it.

Is anybody out there?
Is anybody reading this tonight?
Will you be the reason that I write?
I want so much to share
Do you mind if I turn on the light?
I don’t want to make you feel uptight
I just want to use my sense of sight
As long as it’s here
And if you read these words I write
Maybe if I come out from under the covers
You’ll be there
Sometimes we just have to use our eyes
To see what is there.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Not So Much

All these years of fighting my biological clock has taken its toll and I must admit it is becoming beyond my control and I repeat, I guess I must finally accept that there are some things about me that are beyond my control. So am I buying it? Not so much.

It’s not all in the mind
Unless I’m out of my mind
To want to feel my behind
In so much pain would be unkind
And yet the martyr I may be
Might have this all planned for me
And if that is insanity
All I can do is laugh

I will be occupied with softball and social distractions all week. I should make time for writing, but sitting is not a good idea and talking to text with someone in the same room is not what I am ready for at the moment. So I may be gone from here for a little while.

Your turn to keep in touch. If you want to.

Narf :)

Monday, September 3, 2018

Un or Dis

unorganized, Disorganized, or something like that? Well, the details blog may offer more, or not, but the bottom line is there are changes stirring, maybe even brewing, and the clarity of the outcomes are very much in doubt. Survival depends on it, so not to worry, for life is relative and the guide will provide. Hitch a ride. Come inside. Wonderful wonderful. You can do it. Whatever happens, it happens and we can choose to worra worra worra over it or we can choose to enjoy it. Guess what I choose. Well, most of the time lol.

Life is a roller coaster and sometimes, we just have to let it ride.

Wish you were here.

Narf :)

Sunday, September 2, 2018

So Goes Sunday

Well hello. I went out softball practice this morning and that was way too easy so I want to go to the gym after but instead I went to the World Series team before the series party. We went to Wekiva Springs and a little after they started barbecuing we got rained out. We all went back to the guys house, which was absolutely beautiful and huge, and hung out. Lots of money there. At the moment. On the way to the party between practice and the party I stopped at the post office and picked up mail and I stopped at Costco and picked up water protein drinks and I think that’s it. After the party I stopped at Walmart and spent more money. I did find some things I think I will use hand somethings I definitely needed. Two creams or appointments I left a check which they are in the pharmacy that the pharmacist was holding behind the counter for someone else. That customer apparently never picked it up and it was exactly what I would be asking for from the pharmacist or doctor. Walmart does not always carry it so they happen to have it sitting on the shelf in the back. Lucky break. I even bought a couple of containers and a bag that I will use for all of my toiletries when I travel by car. I also bought a small bag that I will use for my toiletries my travel by plane. Finally travelling with bathroom items will be more organized and I won't spend money on the stuff I didn't bring when I get there.

All this little (and more) could turn into several entries in three different blogs at least (it did, that was the more) and maybe that’s how I should do it from now on because it would keep me from sitting too much. At the moment I am also waiting for Eb to wake him so he can get his wash out of the washer so I can do a laundry. I need to do one tonight so I can leave with the right clothes for the week packed tomorrow morning. I may nap or even sleep through the night depending on the bowels and wake up really early in the morning and do the wash then. Maybe not. It will depend on the bowels and Eb.

What do you depend on? lol

Narf :)

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Voice to Text

Laying down and writing with voice to text into the cell phone again is a very wise idea since part of the reason for my bottom issues is I sit on my bottom way too much. It just frustrates me when voice to text is so inconsistent and error prone. In any case, here we are.

Today was a relaxing day for most of it. I slept until noon-ish and then sat at the computer for a few hours. The TV was on in the background as college football kept the silence at bay. I wrote several blog posts in other blogs and I may link them when I am back at the computer or maybe not. I did not catch up on the dailies, which is why I am here now.

Voice to Text just seems to get stupider the more I speak to it.

Narf :)