It's Like This

I simply got tired of repeating myself (wow, finally?... no worries, it's probably only temporary) and restricting myself to brief just-the-facts entries so I let the babbler take over the daily blogging (as was in done in years past (and then some) and that left this brief "part one" of the daily blog set without the abbreviated summary of life it had gotten used to. Apologies to anyone who has not had time for babbling and actually missed these brief updates. Feel free to meet me in the back room for a quick catch up session. Or complain, I respond well to complaints (he says with serious irreverence). Seriously, though, if you missed me while I was away, thank you. I'm even more surprised than you. :)

So like many other days, today was sleeping past noon, getting online for some job searching, writing, Facebook, email, and other sundries (not necessarily in that order) followed by cards somewhere else. Slipped in between was a shower and other necessaries (as Rooster Cogburn might say) and other odds and ends all topped off with some more writing tonight. Yes, all that and you were not here to enjoy the excitement.

So what's up with you? :)

Crash

It was dramatic. It was traumatic. It was truly stupid when the bookshelf came tumbling down on my head spreading it's carefully sorted contents all over everywhere under things and in cracks and crevices that made clean up murder on the back. I'm just not built for crawling around on my knees on a hard concrete floor anymore. Where is the three year old I used to be?

Alas, some treasured mementos were broken. Serious hurt-filled losses. Just stuff, but what else do I have in this life anymore? The pity-party lasted a few hours. I had a meeting to go to and Jackson absorbed most of the self-loathing (bless her) and I cleaned the mess and made lemonades out of lemons by rearranging the room so I have a lot more living space in the one room I inhabit. Much more to do now that all the sorted stuff is back in two boxes completely unsorted, among a lot of other arranging needed around here, but hey, I am good at ignoring the mess under my nose most of the time.

Evening came and the Sunday softball manager's meeting was a place to get hugs and watch others drink. Coachess drove after I drove over to her daughter's house so I had someone to go with which was better for me. Loneliness is still raging like a forest fire in my spirit. That's life. Home for some more writing and then sleep, whatever dreams, comforts, and blahs I find there.

Start over.

Again.

Narf.

Nothing Magical

No, there is nothing magical here tonight. Or there, for that matter. Maybe somewhere. Back to the routine. Wanting to spend the nights writing until sleep consumes every bit of energy and consciousness within. Wanting to let go of the world and just write and breathe and remember myself. Wanting. Instead, I am just getting back from another night of cards that mixed silly distraction with grumbling undertones because I am not stimulated enough on any level to be satisfied and sometimes my dissatisfaction shows because I do not like playing the superficial games of distraction and pretending that is enough all the time. I spent the day taking Helen's mom to the eye doctor and then treated myself to my favorite Mediterranean gyro, eating it at home in the heat and cramped space. Maybe that reminded me even more of where I am in life today (still adjusting to returning home from the escape to Austin). I enjoy the card games most of the time. I depend on my friends a lot these days for food and shelter. I appreciate them more than I can show. Still, there is a longing deep inside I can't always forget and when I remember, I can't always hide. Nothing magical. Just missing me. In case it matters.

Maybe I am just remembering the Late September Dogs a bit early this year.

Up All Night Again

This time I decided to finish laundry and pack for my trip and finding things in boxes has left the place in quite a cluttered disarray and hopefully Curly won't come in while I'm gone because he is ocd about neatness and he won't like the cluttered disarray. I intend to straighten up when I get back, but there's just no time for that before I leave without throwing everything in boxes to make it look tidy and I don't want to do that.

Sleeping until almost noon, I showered and headed out to softball. Two games, lost the first 7-5 and won the second 15-3. After softball I headed to Excel and the Commodores for a shower and cards and games. Then I came home and finished laundry and packed as much as I could. Listening to music, winding down, heading for bed soon (I hope). Good morning sunshine. :)

Social Fat

Slept most of the day, awakened by Jackson texting to actually chat a bit. She still does not get me after all these years, but it was really good to feel she cared and gave me a little time. After that I met Curly and found out he was meeting Excel and the Commodore at a mall and I went there for food truck dinner with them. We hung out there a while and then went to ColdStone for ice cream. More calories. Then we went to Excel and the Commodore's place to play cards for a few more hours. You know where to find more details. So when do we actually change habits to healthy smart? Feel free to come by and help.

Narf. :)

Long Day Alone in Crowds

After concluding the previous entry (or something like that) I tossed and turned (or at least stayed awake in bed) and slept less than I intended before waking and checking the Facebook PM I sent about the rally. I thought they'd at least respond, but no one did.

Worse than that, the post I put on my wall about the rally and just four people liked it. Bugs Webbotis rolling over in his grave. Good old Bugs will still not go away quietly. I just seem to repel people online I guess. Must be my literary charm.

As if I am not here, life goes on.

So I did my bit for the community helping out at the rally and after the rally I ate at the chinese buffet and then picked up the chair and then headed to Excel and the Commodore's place to play cards and that brings us here. Are we having fun yet?

Narf. :}

Compromises

The pain of lost words returns and I do not have the back or time to recover, so I move on reluctantly and sadly accept what is as it is. Harpo and I went out for cheap fat food after I picked up rainbow ribbons for tomorrow's rally. After that, we shopped for a chair for me, but the one I liked was not in stock. Harpo did not seem into my search or me, so I dropped him home at his request and I picked up some chocolate and came here. Most of the time here was spent on Facebook today, alas. My support network offline is helping my fat cells grow and my support network online is way too political. Another new Facebook account may be in order.

Thank you for participating in this day. Hope yours was worthwhile.

Back Distracted

I am back to the daily writing, but I am back very distracted by the back. An incomplete DDD entry demonstrates and discusses it further if you are interested. Last night I stayed up past 4am writing on Facebook. Many excerpts from my comments and writings there will be uploaded to various blogs like this if you are curious. Today I headed over the Curly''s early and ate lunch there, but with encouragement from him I ate a whole lot more calories than I intended. Like ten times more. My choices, my decision, but I do not seem to be ready to set myself out of the dinners he cooks when I go over there for now. I need to refocus if I truly want some weight loss. After lunch I wrote as I finally brought my laptop with me. He was fixing his bathroom plumbing and I helped a when a second pair of hands were needed. Dinner was the usual, barbecue and rich sides. We played cards until about an hour ago and here we are home and writing, however physically uncomfortable any position for writing may be at the moment.

All that griping aside, it was a great day and very fun night.

Back To Daily Life

Yes, there are still many blog entries missing, some in the pipe and some not even written. So much missing in the two months and the details are not pretty (You've been warned). It is a cold, cruel world out there. All that self-mocking irreverence distraction aside, Curly came by and we went to dinner cuz simply eating cheap here is not happening. I had dropped weight last week but who knows. Focus is lacking. I was going to help Curly with an air conditioner job at one of his houses but the tenant there never called him back so it was not done. He headed home and I headed here. I contemplated heading out for more food as I've been craving chocolate lately but instead had some herring in cream sauce and potato salad. That was satisfying. Apparently the border was not salty or fatty enough.

Tonight was mostly Facebook, again. Standing for several hours, at least. The back still hurts, but at least I can walk. I probably need to walk a lot more. Anybody wanna take a walk?

Sunday Funday Rainday

Today I stood at the fields and did not test my back which may backfire as movement loosens it. I just have such a sedentary life, the back is taking a whole lot longer to recover this time. The team had one of it's best practices so it was good to see them take it seriously the week before the series. Before practice was supposed to be the league's new player try outs and I was going to help pitch for it, but the rains came and cancelled that and I was standing around stiffening up so I took the rain as a sign to not push the body.

We went out for dinner afterward and I foolishly spent more money. Social interaction with the team is important. Coach and another player played PokemonGo most of the time and those were the two I needed some social interaction with the most, but there are so many avoidances in life these days. One of the players invited me to stay in his room which is great but puts me in the position of telling my two friends I will not be chipping in for their room and they will likely be sad as they really needed the money.

I wandered around stores for a couple of hours and then headed home and within moments fell asleep.

So Many Missing

As I noted earlier, there were many entries uploaded tonight and still many entries in the pipeline awaiting editing, completion, and/or upload, so Don't Panic! (again), begging the eternal question left long ago for your silent response. The good news is the details of the mundane experience loosely called life as I experience it is returning to this blog (and that blog) so you can enjoy all the comings and goings (short and long) as you wish.

Can it get any more exciting than this?

Narf :)

*Please Note: For the moment, some of the entries are still under review and will likely be edited further even though they are already uploaded. Additionally, none of the entries uploaded tonight (which is about everything since the last entry noted above) have been looked at for form or content so adjustments will certainly be made as time permits. This notice may remain here forever, or as long as this blog exists, even if all of the entries were eventually reviewed. That is the nature of the eternal infinite. Or something like that.

Back Attack

You can read more in the more detailed blog. I am not sitting at the computer much this week because the back flared up and I stayed in bed immobile for a couple of days except for a few trips to the bathroom that took more than a half hour each time. I used a plastic contained a dew times. Ouch. I should survive.

Narf :)

Softball Practice Blues

So we had a weak practice today and I found out who I'd be staying with, though I am not sure about much else. I also found out the pick up players since none of them made it to any practices (which is not good in my mind) and one choice is ridiculous, but those are the coaches choices. Sad. We will likely have the oldest team there and the a couple of the players will lose games for us if we go toward the top twenty (he just doesn't have the stamina). He also brings a lot of negativity and baggage and he smokes like a chimney. Spending all the money to go to the World Series, much better choice could have been made. I think I need to vent.

I hung out with Harpo a while, though I discovered that he doesn't like driving around.

You know where to find the details. :)