Hoping

Yes that's right, I am still hoping I will find someone who will really get me, accept me, and love me (and not just from afar). Impulse opened an email and visited the Plenty of Fish site again. I clicked no a hundred times, sent two messages. Everyone there looks like my mother. Or grandmother. I find no Oedipus tendencies in me at all lol. Most Americans are fat and fat repulses me, so that doesn't help. Picky picky, but I won't settle for anything less than honesty without harm and self-abuse is not honesty without harm. I know, I've been there (I am imperfect, but honest about it). On that note, I ate a pound of spaghetti today. I feel fat. Pretty, but fat. (laughing at myself a lot today). First time I made spaghetti here in many months, maybe the first time this year. I so rarely cook. I scrubbed the stove first. Life is still lonely on weekends, more now that softball is over. I was invited to two Thanksgiving dinners today. That makes four. I'll probably go to three, so I should stop eating now lol.

Last night Jackson and her family said hi, then we said bye. It was late when they got back.

The animals gave me love.

Narf :)