Caved In

I have so many words in the phone, voice to text, but I don't feel like making time to edit so they remain in email. I also don't make time to sit at the computer here much, largely because I sit too much at work and the medical issues are aggravated by sitting too much. You'll have to reach around the blog world for more about the medical issues. There has been a lot of improvement, in case it matters. Today I went to softball and definitely confirmed the weakness in the upper body and core the weight loss. Must get to the gym more. Anyway, softball was frustrating as the team doesn't take coaching well from me or the coach. Same mistakes over and over and they flat out ignore coaching advice. Leaving the fields, hunger rose on every level. Loneliness hunger, frustration hunger, and physical hunger (300 calories in three protein drinks today to this point today). I decided to go to the gym and after stopping here to pick up my ID and seeing Eb still sitting in front of the TV playing his video game (that's all he does these days), I did 60 minutes on the elliptical at a 5.85 mph pace. Go back here and it's 86 degrees, air conditioner off, Eb in front of the TV in his underwear, and hunger screaming from all directions. I texted Jackson, she sent back a couple of words and liked my text. No help there. I called Harpo and asked him to talk me out of getting cheeseburgers, he told me to go to a fast food place. I caved in and opened two cans of spaghetti. Those cans have been sitting on the shelf since February. Ate it all with added fat free cheese, fake butter spread, a teaspoon of mayo, a tablespoon of onion sauce, garlic and other spices, and I even added some of Eb's pasta that he offered (first time I ever touched his food). So ch for a serious weight loss weekend, but the emotional hunger is very much squelched for tonight. So I came here to tell you about it and record this fact, I caved in. Don't do it again for a while. Feel free to help with that anytime.

Narf :)