Indulging The Beast

Calories, taste buds, emotional eating, the works. Still on a minuscule scale compared with what I have done before (where's the whole large pizza and pound of M & Ms, 5,000 calorie meals, remember?), but still, way beyond what I've done here in many months. The mistake was going shopping hungry and lonely and on the edge of who cares. So I bought pizza. Mini-pizzas, and I've been good until today only eating one at a time every other day. Today I've had three and there's a fourth in the oven. I also bought mac n cheese. The instant in a cup kind, so again, portion control and lower calories, but... not when I add butter (vegetable spread) and ketchup and extra cheese (fat free slices) and... I had two today. I tossed a flounder filet into each for added protein. The body is craving. I am caving. I said it again. Caving.

What's worse is, as I've said somewhere else at least twice, I was asleep sitting in this chair at 8:00 PM and I rolled into bed and poof, sleep was gone. The phone rang just as I was nodding off. Work. The fire department hit a tree. They kept on rolling to the hospital and delivered the patient without a hitch, but they reported it to me as they are supposed to. Maybe that was it, but sleep was gone. I played Fishdom for a little while and the bladder needed emptying and I found Eb watching the first game of the World Series. That adrenaline surge made me hungrier. I resisted until Eb cooked bacon. I tried to go back to bed a few times, but finally popped more pizzas in the oven. Craving frozen pizzas, how low I've sunk. The one for lunch with the dozen shrimp was supposed to be my large meal for the day. But sleep did not come. Food did.

The hunger beast roared today and guess what I did? Caved.

Craving chocolate now.

Narf :)


PS... Read this too, I mean, if you remember I also said read this, hence the too on read this too. Wonderful, do it again. Please?