Lazy Sunday

I will challenge your intelligence, patience, and sometimes, morality. Be that as it may or may not be *since it is mostly up to you, I mean, it is your perspective that decides if you are challenges or not, just as you decide if you are offended or not, though most people will try to shift responsibility outside of their own heads for just about everything they don't like), I've napped three times, at least, today so far. Wonderfully restful day in the recliner. Laptop on lap and cookies and phone next to me and loving my head and the space. The kids are here and I barely notice in spite of the noise. They are all eating dinner, burgers and steak on the grill, mushrooms, asparagus, cheese, buns, and more. He mentioned it earlier, but I suppose he didn't want to wake me. I'll not partake as I don't like food cool or cold and I so rarely have burgers that I would want mine rare fresh off the grill. Next time I'll let him know to let me know when the gill is still hot, even if I'm sleeping. I have been snacking all day, anyway. He is such a good peaceful dad, way more patient than the average, and his life revolves around the kids.

I like living here. A couple of movies, snacks, and I'll figure out dinner in a few. Lighter, I hope. Then, a very lean week. Under 190 again by next weekend. I wonder if the 4th of July will challenge that. Th weekends appear to be pig-out time in this environment. I'll need to skip one of two, no, at least two, in July. No doubt. No question. No fail.

Feel free to encourage me.

Narf :)

Foodaholic

Aren't we all? I mean, go a few days without food and tell me you are not craving. Of course there are some humans, I'm told, that do not care what they eat. They must somehow disconnect from their taste and smell and oral tactile senses. So much of life, they miss. So three days under 1000 calories, two of them under 500, and today, real food. Small portions, but probably more than 1000 calories. Gonna try to stop now, maybe 100 more calories if I get hungry, but gonna stop solid regular foods. The rest of the night, no carbs, no fats.

Today was a desk day. Tomorrow, I hope to be out in the field again. With the sunrise, while it's still cool. Or coolish. The kids are here. I gave the eight year old a tube of water balloons and she's having fun with the hose outside. They're cooking pizza. TA has the same unhealthy eating habits I have, dangerously close. Someday, maybe I'll find the healthy influence to live with who is also a foodie and will go decadent now and then, but for now, I'm here and must be strong. I like it here, I like it here, I like TA, so I just need to control my own impulses, resist the influences, and get that dang elliptical lol.

So how are you and what makes your world go around?

Narf :)

Liver and Onions

I bought four slices of lamb's liver rather impulsively a week or few ago and pulled it out of the freezer earlier this week and decided, even more impulsively, to cook liver and onions tonight. My grandmother used to make this and it was one of my favorite foods as a child. I have no idea what went into her recipe or how she did it, but I blindly dove into cooking it tonight. No Ready Gravy, but I did find Gravy Master. Many pounds of onions were peeled and sliced and sauteed and fried, in that general order. The liver soaked in milk and spices (I read it on the internet), including smokes salt, garlic, and pepper. The onions cooked for hours, then the liver was sliced, placed back in the milk for about ten minutes, then powdered with flour (with spices mixed in) and fried. Added the onions and gravy and a bit of sugar and oh, did I surprise myself. It is delicious. Who needs a recipe lol.

I could have fallen asleep at 6:30... easily, but the kids are coming tomorrow and they will be here for about ten days and the kitchen becomes the eight year old's slime factory (there are slimes of every color in bowls all around the kitchen and TA's living room lol) and somehow I don't want to share the cooking space with the slime machine. Detergent is a component of slime, in case you didn't know. So I'll have liver and onions for at least a half dozen meals (yes, four slices of liver makes a lot of meals) and the low calorie plan will keep me out of the kitchen as well. Maybe I'll find myself ways to clear enough space to make salads or something healthy. I really should be sleeping.

Would like some liver and onions?

Narf :)

Elliptical Thoughts (In Progress)

The # one rated elliptical is the Sole E95 Elliptical or maybe it's the ProForm Hybrid Trainer Elliptical

Ok, si I really want and the body really needs an elliptical machine. Liver and Onions aside, exercise is a must for so many reasons, but especially because I because I lot to eat. What can I say, a foodie must food. So I am starting some dedicated research and might go with the Sole E55 Elliptical, or maybe the . It looks like the top rated company is Sole. Also highly rated is Proform. Still, there is much to learn...





So much more will follow, but for now...









I think I'll buy this one.

Narf :)

Max Weight Wall

I crashed through the 190 pound wall this past week or few and today, after a pig-out weekend, I rebuilt the wall. 380 calories today. I do not want to pay higher health insurance rates (the increases even with the healthy discount have offset the raises the past two years. Criminals in charge, from the Corporations to the White House, we've got a really messed up culture. Millionaires don't care and billionaires just laugh, while the rest of us struggle to pay bills and hope for some relaxing years when we retire. More and more, thought, people can't afford to retire (and eat). Anyway, I will be back under 190 shortly and then, back to 180 again. Sub-1000 calories each day for a month, with some sub-500 calorie days tossed in, so there.

Please don't pass the chocolate this week, m'ok?

Narf :)

I Wasn't Here

But this is now. I don't back up my files well, that is, I don't back up regularly. One big reason is I don't make the time, but also, I don't know what to back up and I know I'v backed up stuff multiple times and I have o idea when or if I'll ever find the time to sort through or even look at all the files. I still bought another 256GB Thumb drive. I plugged it in and scanned through the salvaged files (did I mention the external hard drive crashed?... tragedies, naturally, alone, again, too) and the last back up I did of that drive was late 2018. Sigh, the loss, the pain, the futility of recording life. I couldn't decide what to back up, so I didn't.

In case it matters.

Narf :)

Stop The Madness

I really should be more agitated and upset with myself, not to mention the rest of humanity, though for very different reasons. If you knew who I was and what I really thought, you'd probably be surprised at how different my thinking is than most people. I choose to be an observer, making ripples in the puddle of time and space on this planet, but never actually taking pat in the human... game? condition? madness?

Whatever, I am eating too much. Not exercising enough. Weight rises. Along with the other numbers. Blah.

In case it matters.

Eh.

Slow Computer

The limits of this computer places limits on the blogging I do on this computer and since it is my primary (and best home) computer, the blogging has diminished, except for those rare occasions when I have the time to baby the machine and wait for it's slowness, but even then, the delays in page openings and words as well as limits on programs and browser windows I can open make for a dull boy, or girl, or gender neutral blog experience.

Today is an early day as I picked up the car before sunrise and will spend the day inspecting parks and libraries and other county places. I already had breakfast (shrimp) and since I stopped back here and sat down in the recliner for that, I picked up the laptop and waited for it to ramp up and typed these words. Maybe even more in the DDD blog. DDD, I wonder what you think that means if you have not been here before.

I hope you make today and wonderful and safe day in your life.

Feel free to interaction, I mean, you can, you know?

Feel welcome and encouraged.

Narf :)

Remembering Something

I tried to create a new bog and google told me I had too many blogs. I could create another account, but that could be confusing. At the very east I would have to log in and log out every time, remembering passwords, and interrupting the flow of words and thoughts and creativity all the more. Another computer that would remember the other seems like a convenient answer, except for the fact that I would need to carry two computers everywhere and cutting and pasting from and to each other would... could it be? Network? I have a lot to learn. Anyway, it's not happening today and I do not want to delete or re-name any of my blogs, so another blog may begin in a notepad for now.

On another path, I found a few blogs not open to the public that were created to share with one person and that person no longer shares, but I am torn between sharing what is in those blogs with you and the universe or maintaining the privacy the blogs were created to maintain. Why must I hide my words if the person I hid them for no longer interacts with me?

Another question that will likely not be answered today. There was a long day at work today. I stopped home for a brief nap and then stayed at work until 7PM to observed the removal of trees from a power station on site. Puzzling situation allowed by the power company. I feel random tonight. Dinner was shrimp. Chocolate and sugar calls. I must stop that, but as long as it's in the house, in my reach... finish it and buy no more for a month... or longer. Body blog needs attention (focus, aye?).

ADHD is so much fun, but makes if more challenging to interact with others or even care for myself well sometimes. Some people who have come close to me in this life might have been able to help if they cared to and stuck around.

Are you there, Margaret? It's god.

In case it matters.

Narf :)

The Return?

Ok, another date, another try, another fail. The hard drive appears dead. It does not appear to be getting power. So far, my search online for "externl drive does not light up" and "no LED light on Seagate external drive" and "beeping external drive" with and without "Seagate" or "seagate Slim" and more searches on the Seagate site and on Google produce no inormation that explains what the drive is doing... or isn't doing, in this case. The USB Controller? The disk mechanism itself? Something else? Maybe more searching will explain it, but for now, I am accepting death and loss because it appears I must. Will anyone come out to mourn with me?

Meanwhile, a wonderful nap after eating after work, waking moments ago for the bathroom run and a steay body-shower (no soap and no water above the neck, but almost as hot as it goes here and that is at least 120, but more likely somewhere between 140 and 160). Wonderful feeling. Awake, alert, and eyes clear and focused (so blurriness is fatigue much more than eye failure, which is excellent news). No sleep last night, softball rained out, fell asleep right after dinner around 6PM. Dinner was once again high calorie, leftover wings and meatballs with chocolate ad ice cream. 196 lbs clothed before dinner. Bad me, good feeling, yummy taste.

Who cares?

I do. I also love the stimulation of eating meats and ice cream and chocolate now and then. Too many now and thens in the last few week, yes, but the sub-1000 calorie days will start any day now. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe when the chocolate and meats and fried frozen foods so easy to prepare after working 9-10 hours is no longer in the house. Will power has waned considerable in the past month or so. Allowing too much roommate's influence is not helping at all. His diet is mostly subs and frozen fried foods. Love 'em too much but gotta leave 'em sometimes. Veggies and fish, shrimp, some soups... that's yummy too.

Chocolate sits right next to me at the moment. It says the sweetest things. I feel so loved.

Whoppers, a milk chocolate bar, creme filled chocolate chip cookies, two different chocolate icings, ice cream cones, fudge shell topping, so many choices, such wonderful chemicals, what a feeling (there's a song in there, but it may not be coming on just yet lol).

500 ml water instead, for the moment, and the bloated feeling holds off the chocolate, for the moment. That's 16.9 ounces, in case you are lost in translation. I don't remember that movie. I should watch it while it is on my mind. It must be on one of the four streaming channels we get. Not tonight though, I really should get in bed and let sleep return. Another sleepless night, in spite of the wonderful 5-ish hour nap, would not be wise with the workload I have scheduled this week. Clarity is important when preparing minutes and reports and running meetings.

A wonderful nap makes for a wonderful life, but a full 8+ hours sleep helps a dull boy not be so dull. Mixing metaphors, or something like that. Hey, this is what I used to do, remember? I mean blogging, free-associative in-the-moment writing. Do you miss me?

I do.

Narf :)

Retrogressing

What I mean is, the techie in me is losing interest in the tech. Back in the day, the olden days for many alive today, when stereos were just coming out of the tubular stage and there was serious debate about loss of sound quality as the tubes were phased out by the transistors, solid state components, and eventually, mother boards I had the cutting edge state of the are tech. Massive 3 foot speaker cabinet with fifteen inch woofers and every gadget a=out at the time. From audio I moved to desktops and the massive 2MB RAM machines of the 80's. Atari was the first MAC. Writing moved from pen and paper to the keyboard slowly, but once it did I was filling hard drives and continuing on the edge.

Then came the internet. The excitement of the BBS blossomed into the thrill of connectivity on the internet and I was chatting all over the world in the early days when AOL was king and I was queen. Or maybe vice versa, but my accounts on the big sites go back to their roots and my email addresses are more than two decades old and my mailboxes were full of wonder and excitement, almost as much as my snail mail boxes were before the internet. As we crossed into the current millennium, writing blossomed into cyberspace and diaries turned to journals and journals turned to blogging and I went blogmad (who remembers?) with glee. Myspace gave way to Facebook and from the first years I was a daily player, leaving hundred of comments and carrying on dozens of conversations a day.

Then, watching the industry milk the consumer by holding back advances in technology so they could maximize profit on virtually obsolete tech has turned me off to the whole tech revolution. Watching the ugliness of the immaturity and insecurity of humanity erupt on social media turned me away. I withdrew and maintained my blogs, but seldom ventured out to the social web anymore. Friends on FB and the other social networks push me to communicate there with reminders, teams have pages or groups for communication, but I let them know they have my telephone number and are very welcome to text me if they want to communicate with me. Communicating on a public bulletin board is not longer exciting.

Recently, even blogging slowed to a relative silent crawl... until this weekend. I don't know if I am back to writing and uploading daily, but I am here tonight. No sleep, playing Merge Dragons and back here pondering my online navel, so to speak. Today is going to be rough with a critical softball game this evening and a couple of projects I need done and orientation to do. Hope the bowels hold up.

I am ready for life without electricity, no less without the internet.

Anybody wanna join me?

Narf :)

Checked Email, Called AT&T, Nothing

AT&T Support sucks. A half hour of run around by a techie flat out lying and trying his best to get me to hang up, then he transfers me to the main queue of a department he knew was closed. AT&T website helps sucks. The support pages loop around without solutions and the contact us page loops around with no contact information. I'll call during the week when they are open only because I have support numbers on my phone. All I want to know is what they did with the Email Inbox, which has mysteriously disappeared from "myATT." I suspect they are trying to do away with free email again in spite of all the unhelpful support pages about it. Meanwhile, I checked three primary Gmail addresses and nothing there, almost. Nothing personal, meaningful, or communicative beyond invites to a few local events. Friends will be there, but whatever happened to personal communication? Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Nobody writes or calls anymore. Occasional texts, that's it.

So I party on my own and still love every minute of it, Jerry or no Jerry.

Eventful day, so where are you and what are you doing?

I ask because I care and want to know.

Personally, even.

Narf :)

Did The Trauma Wake You?

Luckily, trauma doesn't last long in my world. I'm not sure if PTSD came and went many years ago, perhaps before conscious memory, perhaps over the last decade or few. There's certainly been a lot of discomfort, suffering, abuse, and trauma - physical, emotional, psychological, financial, and probably other descriptive categories along the way. The blogs are full of the complaints, but the desire to pick apart the mess it was does not seem to be here. Interesting that the mess doesn't seem to be here either. Could the picking apart, the wallowing through, the hanging on to the horrible feelings be the source of PTSD? Speculative psychology, but hey, I never did finish my graduate degrees, remember? Lack of interest in the human model of the mind, I suppose. We know so little, we pretend to know so much.

A brief nap was delicious, almost as delicious as the food. Did I mention ice cream and chocolate? Certainly blew the weight loss idea this weekend, but then, there's another challenge for me to take on. No high calorie foods this week. After today. Feel free to respond if you have anything to say. Concerns, applause, laughter, almost anything is welcome, ya know?

What are we here for anyway, if not to share?

Just my illusions?

Narf :)

Food Is Life, After All.

This should go in the food blog, but then, here I am. Are we? We, after all, would require you to be here too. You are in my illusions. Is that real? As real as I'd like to make it, I suppose. Quantum real, no doubt. Or all doubt, for that matter. Do you have to be matter to be real, after all? Do we have to be matter to matter? Language is so amusing, after all. I am copying the photos from my iPhone on to my back up drive. Starting over.

And food makes everything better. Except maybe weight and health and wallet, but then, emo-eating is an essential aspect of mind-chemistry and mind chemistry is life, perception, and being, after all.

It's a good life, after all. :)

Narf lol :)

Back Again

Yes, the Narf and lol and smile is back. That didn't take long. Sad is gonna linger, feeling foolish and alone as the illusion of the importance of all the words and the potential for sharing bursts. Back to life, back to reality, an alone reality. Nobody really cares about me (but then, look what we do to the planet and ourselves in this life). All those potential entries are gone now, but I am back. Jackson texted a couple of times, but she doesn't really understand (or deal with loss well). TA provided some social conversation about this and that, the world and whatever. Nobody else to really call for nurturing or support. That is life as I know it. Back again. Not so much back to writing daily blogs, we shall see, but definitely back to me. Content and self-contained and accepting life as it is, people as they are. And so it goes.

It would be nice if someone really got me one day.

Time for lunch.

Narf :)

Back To Games

Merge Dragons has occupied most of my time that would have been computer time for the past month, maybe two. The loss of the hard drive is diminished because I already felt disconnected, but also for the same reason, profound because the idea of reconnecting is gone. More lose ends in life when I know there are no ends unless I let them happen and in my mind, I don't. People worry about me because of that, yet it is my security, my comfort, my greatest pride and joy under what might appear to be angst or stress or complaints or worries. I wish I wasnt so misunderstood lol. Maybe I shouldn't laugh about it. Maybe I don't care as much as my "wish" suggests. Maybe I actually want to be misunderstood.

Shhhh, that would be telling.

Narf :)

Time For Food?

If today was not Sunday and or if I did not have work tomorrow and had a very busy week with important activities, I might self-indulge more and even take the week off and do my best to find my way back to myself through writing the way I used to. I may be a lot closer than I think, given the peace and contentment securing me to joy even now, in spite of the overwhelming sense of loss and aloneness. We shall see when my appetite comes back as the loss leaves me full of emptiness. For the moment, I am without appetite. Loss does that.

Alone.

Work Through It

It may take some time as the losses might pop up when I least expect it. Passwords. Telephone Numbers (though the phone should maintain those and I think I have the phone backing contacts up to the cloud, as much as I hate that). Maybe it's time to bite that bullet and let everything float on the cloud, damn the risks.

Is the risk of losing identity and money and freedom worse than it better than losing time, losing words, losing me.

I feel more alone than ever, alas.

Starting Over

Again. For the umpteenth time. The back-up external hard drive now becomes the primary hard drive. I'll need to buy a new back up. I have two 256 GB thumb drives (at least) somewhere in boxes that I hope to find too. I must remember to back-up more often. There are likely ways to make it automatic, but I've never read enough of the instructions (or given any device enough access and autonomy) to have that happen. I pay the price in data loss. Data containing me. Me loss. My loss.

So many times, I'm numb again.

Devastation

The last time I backed-up my external hard drive was October, 2018. The external hard drive appears to have died last night. It was the beeping I could not identify. Not having visited it in several weeks or maybe longer, I neglected it. Never turning it off, never letting it rest, forgetting it was even there. Disconnects kill.

Remember that with people too.

Distractions At 3AM

I thought I was going to dive deep into myself as I found myself typing a few hours ago, unplanned, and felt the babbler want to play and the psyche wanting to exposé, but the woke up crying and whining (what's new) and TA went out to get her McDonalds (because she gets pretty much whatever she wants whenever she wants it). The 3AM silence conducive to deep dives is not available, so I appear to be babbling just to fill in dates, not even trying to remember what happened on those dates as I go backwards in time to pop entries in where not entries were, but if you haven't been around much, they'll seem to have always been there. Chronological order and time are quite relative in blogs, as we've discussed many times before.

We haven't discussed much lately though, have we? Hope you are still alive and well, or as well as possible.

All these words are not posted just for me, after all. :)

Narf :)

Maybe It Doesn't

Matter, that is. I was amazed to see that I uploaded no entries in May in the babbling blog and few here. There's been babbling and such, just not as much as usual and the uploading, well, ceased. Perhaps you noticed and just accepted my disappearance. Perhaps nobody reads the babble and it really doesn't matter if I am here or not. I know one person stops by now and then, thank you more than words will ever express, but am I as alone in this blog world as I feel sometimes?

The silence answers.

I smile.

Narf :)

This Wasn't Here Yesterday

In case it matters, or not, I have been an infrequent visitor to the web recently. Not checking emails, rarely uploading blogs, not browsing at all, just not here. Even offline, I believe the last two months have seen less writing than any two months in the past... ever. I am waiting for the shoe to drop, but I appear to be as fine and dandy as ever. Dandy, I miss you. I still have two Blogmad mugs. This were the days I'd embrace Blogathons and write an entry every thirty minutes for 24 consecutive hours. Feel free to ask, or find them yourself. The writing was essential to everything in me. The sharing words online was so much fun. I miss those days, but I wonder... have I finally given up on humanity?

There was a time...

Narf :)

Rewind

So it is Saturday night and the computer was beeping for some reason I did not discover, but it got me to open it and here we are, rewinding time and adding entries day by day as if this was always here. The world s such a sad place these days, I don't want to spend much time outside of my head. I love my work and that occupies sixty or so hours a week most weeks, sometimes more. I love softball and there's a few more hours of fun (down to just one active league at the moment). I still love writing, though I am writing less than I have in many, many years recently (time and tense can be so playful). I am spending hours each day, or longer, playing Merge Dragons on my phone. It deserves an entry all it's own, so maybe it'll have one, but for now let's just say I have more than 35 million points, about 6K dragon power, a few Wonders, over 500K in gold stored, and well over 10K of stuff stored in bubbles, including a few hundred dragon eggs. You had to be there. Anyway, I am happier than I've been in years in my head, not even as lonely as I usual am, and enjoying life in spite of the baby living here (who's crying at the moment, which brings her to be mentioned... the kids are here for an unplanned weekend and life goes on). So there may be more entries inserted as the night smiles on the babbler and better yet, the babbler smiles back.

Who wants to travel back in time with me?

Narf :)

It's Not Today, But We're Here Anyway

Yes, it is Saturday night, but the blips of babble want to come in this manner as the laundry spins and while I hope the extremely loud dryer buzzer doesn't disturb TA or the kids, TA said it won't and I should do the laundry. Typically he does past midnight, so the wash goes on. The last load (bedding) is in the washer, the last load of clothes spins in the dryer, and just the clothes I have on and two towels will be in the dirty wash after tonight. Yay for clean clothes and bedding. Boo for the loud dryer beeps, but at least I get up after the first one. It beeps two or three times and TA usually lets it, so maybe he doesn't hear it in his room. He's got a nice big room in the back of the house and the 8 year old sleeps with him back there he says the 18 year old can sleep through anything so onward the washing. This is what you come here for, right?

Perhaps our claim to fame is this blog rivals Seinfeld as a show about nothing. Or Corner Gas, even. Hey, at least I'm not cheating and cutting and pasting the same blog entries from my other blogs (or other blogs anywhere). You get all original nothing here, yesserie bob. I've also watched a whole lot of bad movies lately, ah, more ideas for blogging about...

Narf :)

Another Saturday Night and I...

Wait just a minute now (and before we ask when is now? and it leads to a tremendous discussion of time travel rivaling any ever had before, I wish I could meet Anna Faris in 2008 and discuss time travel and maybe even really get to know her, in spite of this and her boob job and I just want to say, this happened and this too and I'm kid of sad about it, even though I haven't wanted any of the last season, but all this is beside the point, whatever it might have been), what day is it? Obviously I am in a babbling mood and this may be considered cheating in some circles, but well hang a triangle on it and ring that bell.

It's a wonderful life, alone again, naturally, but still wonderful. You?

Narf :)

Softball Happened Too

Yes, pitching almost lights out and knocking in the winning run with a walk off hit is an excellent feeling so the feeling is very excellent tonight. Meanwhile, in real time, TA just went out to get his eight year old McDonalds because she was hungry and she gets whatever she wants whenever she wants. Hotcakes and a hot fudge Sunday at 2AM, cool dad, aye? Back to Monday night, the game was much fun. One bad pitch for a two run home run (but that let me get to bat again, so I may have done it on purpose), otherwise they couldn't hit me at all. Strange to say that as softball pitcher, but it does happen now and then. It's a combination of great control and getting into batter's heads because batting is so much about confidence. Hitting, I was 3 for 4 with a few RBIs and as I mentioned, the winning RBI. Celebrating personal success is good for the ego and self-esteem, but it was also a good feeling for the team as we hang on to a tie for second place, one game back of first (first place team beat us by one run), and we play the second place team next week. I miss playing more, but my Monday night men's team is competitive and tests my limits. I don't expect much of my other leagues as I moved out of the competitive level play to get away from the drama.

So one of these days maybe you'll tell me what's going on in your life?

Narf :)

Kids Come in All Sizes

Sizes being a relative term. TA, my roommate, had the kids this weekend and kid weekends are different because everything is dominated by his eight year old. She's spoiled in many ways as some kids are by recently divorced parents, but seems to be a pretty smart kid. She watches Youtube on her tablet constantly and is always trying new experiments she learns (cooking, making slime, and other experiments). The place needs a good cleaning after she's done, but learning is a good thing. Physically she could easily pass for five and emotionally she behaves younger than that much of the time, but being spoiled and insecure about her parent's love may have regressed her development as TA says she was never like this (this being whiny, clingy, and aggressively possessive of her daddy). It would be nice if she said hello when she walked in or bye when she eaves, but then, not everyone develops social skills at the same pace.

In the moment it's 2:30AM and she's playing in the kitchen. She proves the Rolling Stones wrong, she can always get what she wants lol. Anyway, laundry waits another week as they had the washer/dryer tied up all weekend. My laziness thanks them (as I laugh), but the part of me who wants to clean now and then (and keep healthy eating habits) needs to assert itself more. Oh, why so serious? (good moods don't come cheap, ya know? lol). I'm just a big kid, after all, in case you didn't know.

Are you out there anymore?

Anybody?

Narf :)

Why Am I Gone?

Is the answer blowing in the wind? Riding on some storm? Somewhere in the sky? Well, in case it matters, I am only gone in blog time, not in real time. You just need to KIT (that's keep in touch) in text or some other way when I disappear from blog time. If you want to, that is. You don't have to know me to read me and I know some of you just like the distraction of anonymous ramblings. We all have our reasons for being on the internet and reading what we choose to read. The answer to why I am "blog gone" is multifaceted and may well be a long and winding road, but as simply as I can put it, Merge Dragons. Ambivalence, procrastination, laziness, unhealthy self-indulgences, and giving up on humanity also play roles in my lack of interest in the illusionary hope, fanfare, and ego strokes that blogging provides, but mostly it's playing a video game. Maybe.

It's not like anyone is asking, after all.

Narf :)

Life Goes On

A few hours ago I was all excited about writing, but the distractions in this living space (currently the TV from TA's bedroom is loud enough for me to hear the conversational dialogue and the shouting drowns out the youtube video playing on this computer). There was a very playful array of themes running through my head, not the least of which was the relativity of time (somewhat inspired by an adorable Anna Faris in Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel, which is not a good title or movie, but was an amusing distraction as I played Merge Dragons. I suppose expecting answers was asking for too much from the film, but using FAQ in the title lead to disappointment from this particular time-travel geek-nerd. I've watched a lot of rather bad movies, though I don't really watch as the TV is background noise most of the time for me. I do miss some of y CBS shows that I don't watch these days because none of the TVs have the CBS App and they can't download new apps. TVs from a few years ago are obsolete already, like most everything else in this consumer addict society. We are slaves to our addiction to stuff and the oligarchy loves feeding our jones. Give me a home where the buffalo roam, aye?

This is not much of a daily life blog lately and may not be for a while, but then, there's not much going on in daily life. I hang at home playing merge Dragons with the TV on in the background. We could blame Tinman but then, it's my choice. I haven't been happier or more content at home and in life in several years, maybe decades, so as long as I am hearing no complains from any of you (and we can hear a pin drop around here, ya know?... nudge nudge lol), I've got no complains and not much motivations to upload entries. One of these nights I'll get the bug and the babbler will fill many of the emoty dates in this blog, no doubt, but for now... I hope all is well in your world.

Narf :)