Pushing For More

Slept in late, played and watched softball all afternoon, called Harpo and Tinman and went to help put a bed together then went to dinner at the Chinese buffet then went to Harpo's to chat and feel good about the laughter and friendliness I brought (Harpo doesn't laugh much, but I was in the mood I used to get in a lot, the mood to selflessly entertain a friend and it worked well). I get the altruistic reward and the good feeling of helping others, but I don't get the selfless caring about me. Maybe I never will. I wonder if I ever have. If I did, it didn't last.

Somehow, today, I gave the way I used to. Feels good. Alone, sad, but good.

Narf :)