It worked, as the carb hangover was gone after I made and ate even more pasta and then chips and chocolate, but today I am more bloated than ever and not in any mood to move or go out or do anything. I was up all night, again, watching internet TV and woke noon-ish and babbled since. Here we are, lethargic and uninspired in body, buzzing and in no mood for doing anything other than babble in mind. There are parties tonight. Curly texted me late yesterday to let me know he was having a party. I spoke with Lonewolf and ... about getting together too, maybe heading to Harpo's house as he will be staying home with his mom. There is another party at Glinda's as well. Not wanting to go to any for financial reasons, not to mention the blah. I really want to write more too. We shall see what will be.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
It worked, as the carb hangover was gone after I made and ate even more pasta and then chips and chocolate, but today I am more bloated than ever and not in any mood to move or go out or do anything. I was up all night, again, watching internet TV and woke noon-ish and babbled since. Here we are, lethargic and uninspired in body, buzzing and in no mood for doing anything other than babble in mind. There are parties tonight. Curly texted me late yesterday to let me know he was having a party. I spoke with Lonewolf and ... about getting together too, maybe heading to Harpo's house as he will be staying home with his mom. There is another party at Glinda's as well. Not wanting to go to any for financial reasons, not to mention the blah. I really want to write more too. We shall see what will be.
Friday, December 30, 2016
About 16 ounces of Mountain Dew yesterday kept me awake all night (been a while since I did 24 hours without sleep, a few weeks at least, as sleep is essential to th health maintenance regime) and now, about seven hours later, I am quite hungover. Carb hangovers, I almost forgot what they were like. This one is compounded by the ear wax. The ear wax has built up to a point where hearing is noticeably affected. The pulse woke me sounding like a jackhammer and the tinnitus like an extremely high pitched air raid siren. Finding an inexpensive remedy is moving to near the top of the to do list.
I think I'll sit here amidst the noise and slowly wake up from the fog.
Hello... Who is there?
Thursday night Bridge returned to the activity list tonight as The Commodore texted to include me in the game. I ate a little veggies and rice while there and stopped for a 7-11 pizza and big bite on the way home. Way too much bread, even when I don't eat the bread. I was hungry and the Taco Bell was closed at midnight and the MacDonald's almost had my business but I remembered how dissatisfied I was last time I tried a year or more ago and decided to head to 7-11, the only thing open around here after 2am. It was packed as usual. Makes no sense, but that is Downtown Orlando. Games were fun, mostly. I hung out to play another game with The Commodore after everybody went home. It was good to get out and play.
Hope your day and night was fun too.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
The bottoming out may not be over, but the emo kid sure did take off upward today so far as I had a very good (excellent, from my perspective and I hope from the interviewers perspective as well) phone interview with the Seminole Country Risk Manager for the Seminole County Safety Officer job. He said he'll call next week to set up an in-person interview with his boss. During the call, The Commodore texted about playing cards tonight. That's a good sign. Then I called the clinic about the colonoscopy and they said they sent me paperwork by mail. The paper they handed me said they'd call me, but it lief, so I am glad I called as I'd likely not have checked my PO box until next year at the earliest. Attitude changes perspective and perspective changes mood - much better mood now.
Gonna shower and head out. Hope you found (or created) reason to reach for the stars today too. :)
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
I didn't even know it was Wednesday. At least consciously, I didn't acknowledge the or think about the calendar. I watched TV. Waking at 8:30am and finding The Maharaja already gone, I turned on Hulu and The Invisible Man and watched clear through to after 2am, breaking only to cook spaghetti. Fine kettle of fish, or spaghetti, that (day) was.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Woke early and started the day by checking the garbage pick up and finding out today was the day for recycling, so I took the big bin to the curb. We've been forgetting for weeks. Checking emails, as usual. Found out that the new state job website can no longer be accessed through Chrome or Edge. I will need to download Firefox and hope it does not screw up the settings or memory balance on this notepad now that I have it set right. Why would the state create a brand new website that is not compatible with Windows 10 or the Chrome browser? The state trying to tell me something? More challenges. Don't let it get you down, it's only job opportunities burning. I wrote a lot, babbled for distraction, and spent the day listening to music and youtube videos. Ate light (so far), carrots and chicken soup. Can I do that the rest of this week? It is not easy. The phone remains silent. Life goes on.
Check the babble, it's much more fun. :)
Monday, December 26, 2016
What? I Mean, so I don't know, what? What happened today? Cleaned the kitchen more, emptied the fridge (there was some seriously old food in there, like two years or more in the freezer and six months past the best by date in the fridge. Took out the trash, ran the dishwasher, and found the leak. The broken garbage disposal leaks. So it got the nearly dried out cabinet wet again before I put a pot under it and the cabinet will be drying out another week. I cut the dishwasher short so no dishwasher for now. The Maharaja was appreciative that I did that cleaning and troubleshooting. Cooked, ate, check mail and did the job search thing, wrote to J, babbled in blogs, checked the interpals site, and watched internet TV. The phone remained silent. That's life these days.
How are you? :)
Sunday, December 25, 2016
I believe it was Thursday that I watched a webinar and searched for more jobs and checked emails and sent out more resumes and applications and then I went to the government mandated health care website and tried to register again... and again, they would not let me. I called the help number and they were no help. Good enough for government work. You can read more details in the detailed blog, probably from Thursday... or maybe Friday. I wandered my old diaryland babbling places (again, see the detail if you want the detail - it really is no miracle, you just have to care and want to know and make the time to reach out, at least with your eyes, and read. Letting me know would actually make the caring a verb, something you did outside of your mind, in case you wondered.
Maybe it's that Xmas spirit haunting thing going on, or something like that.
Happy Merry if you do that sort of thing.
Lol lam lol lax laa...
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Just when I said I won't do this, here again, I did. That's because I was having fun distracting myself and because I was distracting myself I was not here updating the daily life in a timely manner. Today was the day before the Xmas day holiday and I did do things. I wrote about it somewhere, likely in the detailed blog or in an email to J or both. Just not here. Feel deprived? Well, how was I supposed to know you were even here, after all. So there, your move. Snarky Xmas eve, and all that. Except the bah humbug, no need for that.
I met Helen for breakfast at Sweet Tomatoes, then I headed to my PO Box and then to my storage unit, picking up Harpo along the way, chatting briefly with his mom. After that, I headed home, watched internet TV, then headed to Lonewolf and ... for the annual Xmas Eve dinner, stopping at Publix to pick up some dinner things. Long day, sleep well.
In case it matters to you.
Ho ho ho.
Friday, December 23, 2016
I could do this every time I don't have much (or anything) to say or when I skip passed past days without uploading an entry when there is an entry in the detailed blog (or vice versa there) or somewhere else, even, but that would be cheating so I won't... or at least not often. It was a Friday. It was the same old story. The decadent self-destructive one in which I spend more money than I should on more food than I should eat and then I eat it. Much fun, much bloat, sad after-effects, especially long term. Nobody cared, no one is here. Or something like that.
No worries, life went on, even if we missed it.
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Yup. the tinnitus just keeps pushing me further and further under water, especially upon waking. So maybe I'll remember to mention it to the doctor and get my ears checked. Eyes? Whatever. Good morning, how was your night? lol, lam, sigh. Waking in a good mood in spite of all the challenges is a good thing. I watched internet TV most of the evening after wandering the web in search of income most of the day and that was the day that was before today. Today, I shall most likely repeat the process, though I feel like babbling a bit more and I may be playing cards tonight.
Life is a wonderful mix of heartache and pain and all I need to do is keep distracting myself and hoping it will stop to be happy.
So far, so-so, but today is laughing already, so that may be a great sign.
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
A whole lot more in the babbling second part of this two part daily blog experience we've shared since it began earlier this year. Briefly, however, without the babbling asides, distractions, rants, and fun, there's not much going on. I am waiting for The Maharaja to wake and shower (he's usually up and out a lot earlier than this, hopefully he is well) and head out to his daily work and projects as he usually does and then I will shower and explore the possibilities of things to do. Until then I check emails for job opportunities and indulge my writing. It is Wednesday and I shall attempt yet another change of routine to avoid the Wednesday Blues that seem to haunt me every Wednesday. Anyway, this is the excitement of the real life.
Monday was online job searching all day, about 11 hours non-stop, then the GI doctor, then internet TV (two series: Life and Eli Stone... feel free to discuss) that bled into Tuesday. Mixed in was babbling and music. See the details if you want the details. Harpo called a few times to let me know I was invited to a party on Facebook. I don't want to go on Facebook, it's depressing. Jackson sent texts. The Maharaja checked in in his usual friendly, caring way and assured me I have safe haven here as I search for income. He's a really unique and generous being. I did some shopping for food, eating, and the basic daily hygiene activities. That's life.
How about yours? :)
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Yeah, it's not even close to as easy as it may seem in the babbling passages and musical interludes you don't see here (you know where to find them if you are paying attention), but I am continuing to do what must be done to keep me off the streets. Sending out the resumes. Thanking The Maharaja (actively listening to him, asking what I can do to thank him, and taking initiative to clean and keep his home even better than it was when I arrived, at least). Yesterday he said I have safe haven here. I hope those are not just nice words like most people say. I shall believe, again.
This morning I checked email, found nothing new (job searches are like this, especially after cleaning out the email box and pouring a full day into the search the day before) and listened to music and babbled, catching up on the past few days when I was actually avoiding thinking, feeling, writing, and being aware of anything. So today is a better day. I hope you have a better day too. I'll probably write to J after finding some food.
Stay strong, believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and hope for love.
Or something like that.
Monday, December 19, 2016
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Got there just before 8am and played three games (1-2 record), then watched others play (all by myself) because I had nothing else to do and missed softball. Only a couple of people asked why I was still there, most just ignored me or nodded as they passed to go play their next games. We could have won another game, but at least we won one. I still smell of cigarettes, so it is into the showers for me and then, to bed. Sleep calls loudly.
Hope your day was fun too :)
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Nothing profound today (or abundant, even), just wake an hour early to get ready for softball. Finished laundry yesterday, finally. Watched more internet TV. Cooked and ate more calories than the body needs. Shopped for food and spent more money that the wallet can afford. Did something else too, but I don't remember. Life becomes a blur when there is next to nothing in it and distraction and avoidance are the primary occupations. Tired of being alone without a mission or a purpose, yet tired of the superficial missions and purposes of modern day humanity. The one abviously needs to be a philosopher among all her other amazingly diverse qualities. I'll settle for a therapist, but most of all, just someone who really cares (who can), I mean, in case it matters.
Friday, December 16, 2016
More alone than ever, watching two full seasons of Life, the TV show, to pass the time. It is interesting sometimes with enough eye candy and Canadian perspective to amuse me. I think it was the night before that I went into the kitchen for food and created an eggplant mushroom cheese dish over spaghetti. Last night I stopped for 7-11 pizza after cards. It was burnt. Cards went for just three hours and I played with half a brain. Seems the brain is not really present much these days. Likely I am in that waiting mode. Waiting for someone to care. Watching for a job. Waiting for a place to call home. Waiting to be put out on the street (into my car). Waiting for the money to run out (no more car). Waiting to share. Waiting to die. Waiting for someone to care. Watching internet TV, Life, life. Life. Distractions in the details are much more fun.
Is it soup yet?
Thursday, December 15, 2016
I chose to fall asleep on a sugar high. No laundry, again. Maybe tomorrow. Slept most of the afternoon and woke about midnight. A few texts woke me aong the way and I responded. Info about the tournament, green or red shirt, I responded with a thumbs up and went back to sleep. A text from The Commodore asking it we are playing Bridge tomorrow. I answered yes and went back to sleep. A text from Jackson, a Hi, a two finger peace sign, a Hello? I was deeper asleep and those did not wake me. Jackson played Words With Friends and I played my next move and answered her texts and went back to sleep. Nobody asked how I was or what I did or anything personal. I don't have any personal relationships anymore. I am often sad about that. At the moment, I am not so sad. Kinda Zen. Kinda quantum physics. here, but not here. Just more likely to be here than not here. No one else, just me.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Watched TV after doing the usual job searching yesterday. Headed out during the day to stay with Helen's mom at her eye doctor appointment and then take her home. I stopped for a sub on the way home for lunch. A bit more job searching, then headed to the supermarket for desserts. Impulse chocolate craving was satisfied. It's December, I'm indulging. Watched some TV, Life, in the evening and then fell asleep before midnight, I think. Awake and ready for another day and la de da, it's another day.
What are you doing today?
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Working on the new notepad (instead of taking it back to the store) and a call to Kaspersky and poof, it works. The afternoon was spent testing the fixed notepad. It's working great. It was some feature settings in Internet Explorer. I never used IE on this machine and didn't even know it was still in Windows 10 since they push Edge so hard, but somehow Microsoft messed things up again. Anyway, I added four email accounts to my regular account and "moved in" a bit more. I watched the CBS shows, then switched to Hulu.
Pulse memories were shared tonight. Videos and photos are online. The six month anniversary. On the way home I stopped and picked up food. Remembered memories.
Monday, December 12, 2016
Working on the new notepad (we will try not to call it a laptop anymore because it is slow as molasses and getting slower by the day. That consumed the night and day, along with some very lagging internet TV. The concern is the lag is getting worse and the browsers are slowing and everything else is slowing as well. I did not take it in to be exchanged today because I did not wake up on time, so maybe tomorrow. The body is stabilizing, though still not great. Aging or anemia or something else, hopefully the GI doctor will start finding answers on the 19th. I napped for a few hours and woke late, so I didn't shower and just headed to dinner with Precious. She chose a place called Cheddars and it was good, though we ordered too much food. It was good to see her. She's not working, going to school, so I didn't ask for phone money. Another $600 birthday gift for this year. Getting home, I was tired and headed to bed. That is the day since last entry. Are we saving the world yet?
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Speaking of the card game, not an above ground roadway. After a day of enjoying music and other videos on youtube (as opposed to mytube or other soundtracks of this life I vaguely call mine), I wish Precious a Happy Birthday (because it is her birthday) and we make plans to meet for dinner tomorrow and another text from ... invites me to dinner tomorrow but I text back explaining I just made plans for tomorrow and another text from Excel invites me to dinner and bridge tonight so I drop the stay home with videos plan and head to bridge and it was tense tonight because Curly's double standard was bullying the game and then he decides to get up and leave in the middle of a game because he's tired. Why we put up with that is beyond me. So sudden bridge start to finish. Excel, The Commodore, and I played another game because The Commodore wanted to continue playing and then I headed back here.
It was a fun and relaxing day, except for the tension at Bridge. Still not feeling great, but it doesn't feel serious today.
Hope life is smiling for you.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Slept through the night, fourteen hours with the usual waking to pee every few hours. Dehydrating. Feeling really bad, though no chest pains. Overall body fatigue, maybe the iron levels, maybe the sugar levels from a diet of fats and sugars, maybe the chicken and veggies The Commodore cooked up. I watched some TV and fell back to sleep for another three or four hours. Feeling chilled, bundled under covers in a sweat shirt and pants. Woke again, feeling tired and weak. Watched a bit more TV and decided to eat. Compromise. Feeling better, not great.
Nine days to the next doctor visit.
Friday, December 9, 2016
Just not getting any younger. Staying awake all night is not working for the body anymore. Sleeping oddly is not helping. Maybe the mold and chills and diet and whatever. Don't feel like thinking about it. While playing cards tonight, the feeling was not good. Chest pains radiating into both arms, queasy body, distracting - was that disorientation? I might be at the ER right now if I had insurance. I called 211 to find out if there was any ER services for the homeless. There are not. Apparently, if you can not afford to pay, you either go into debt or die. I don't want to lose the car, so I risk my life. Maybe. Sleep now. Hope I wake.
Geesh this is morbid.
Thursday, December 8, 2016
As the day progressed, I realized that I can turn Wednesdays into Tuesday night TV if I get the internet TV working right (and re-establish income) so this was not as bellowingly below blah as many Wednesday have been of late - though it took some serious comfort food (pasta, heavy sauces, shrimp, chocolate milk, chocolate ice cream, chocolate chips. it just gets worse) which turned my healthy game plan upside down and may have pushed my weight back over 200 pounds which is just wrong so I better stop and that's all I've got to say about that.
Start again... when? Not this Wednesday.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Slept all day after watching TV all night and returned to the TV when I woke. Twisted is the show of choice for the moment. Nineteen episodes are available on Hulu. I am all caught up on the CBS shows because they had few episodes the past couple of weeks. It is testing the new laptop for streaming capabilities and usefulness while streaming. It is also passing the time at home to save money and not eat buffets. That is life today. This evening I headed to Curly's for Tuesday night dinner and cards. The usual barbecued meats and beans and brownies. Home again for more TV and pushing the limits of the laptop. A few Notepads, a few blogger tabs, and a tab with Hulu streaming. Carrots.
Making it work.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Hour after hour I sit exploring the new laptop, testing it's limits and options and potential. How does that old saying go? There is plenty of time to sleep after we die. Yes, I am pushing the limits, but I must do what I must do. I am tired. I am not happy with the Celeron processor or with 2GM of RAM, but I am going to try to work within this environment. I am not happy with Kaspersky, but I am going to see if it will work within this environment. I am not happy with myself or life, but I will see if it will work in this environment.
That may be mostly fatigue talking,
See you tomorrow.
Monday, December 5, 2016
Well... sitting in front of me is a brand new $179 Lenovo Laptop with a Celeron Processor, 2GB of RAM, and a 32GB solid state drive and I am pausing to reflect on the decision to buy it and how to go about making this transition to it. I do want to consider the Dell offer to put a new hard drive in the old machine with a fresh Windows 7 install for $149 but for now, I think my best move is to park the old machine and see how well this $179 laptop can do for me. The car is at serious risk now, but without a working computer, the job search is minimal and that puts everything at serious risk so... I spent the money. Hoping it works.
This is going to be the thriftiest December in the history of the world, at leas in the history of this life I loosely call mine. Oil change for the car must happen, but I am going to do my best to spend as little as possible for the next month or two. That will be very challenging unless I become a hermit, but the Grinch had his reasons and it was not all about the size of his heart.
If only we had our group sharing together here on line, we'd be spending a lot of time together and that would be fun. I'll keep the home fires burning until everyone gets here, m'ok?
It is done. I tried Victoria and she failed miserably. Worse than failed, she destroyed access to the drive. I tried the "remap" feature and now, the laptop drive is gone. Kaput. Done. Over and out. Mini-XP starts up on the CD and it recognizes the two external hard drives, but it does not see the laptop hard drive. Whatever Victoria tries to do, bad.
In other news, I spoke with Jackson for almost an hour. Working hard to fill the silence with positivity helps me a lot. Right after, I ate oatmeal and yogurt for dinner, finding enough will power and motivation (the body provided serious motivation, you know where to find the gorey details) and I added some chocolate syrup and raw potato starch. I started copying files from the older external laptop to the newer one so there would be two copies of everything. Then I nodded off in the chair and went to bed, carbs will still do that for me.
I woke a few minutes ago and will go back to bed and fall back to sleep if I can. I want to be awake tomorrow when I make decisions about the next step in the computer adventures. I will not let this sidetrack my job searching any more than it already has. Survival.
So how are you? :}
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Here we are again via the Hiren Boot Disk and Mini-XP. If you read the last entry, you can breath a sigh of relief with me. What is not here is the hard drive. Whatever Victoria tried to do (remap), it ended with a disconnect of the hard drive. Rebooting did not bring it back. I am stuck in this Mini-95 environment for as long as it lasts until until I decide what to do about a computer.
At least there is some internet access and this.
This may be the last entry until I get a new computer or use a different computer. Just in case, thank you for being here. I love you because I love. I shall survive long enough to return (I hope). the previous daily blog does have a failsafe entry, an entry set to load in the future if I simply do not return to the google blogger world. I will create one for this blog now.
In case it matters, I slept all day. The body is not feeling well. I wish this entry had better news about the daily life, but it is what it is. Take care of your body and enjoy your life. I shall endeavor to return to a healthier state whether I am here or not. Stay strong as you can. Do what is right for you. Stay positive. be hopeful. Find your peace.
The chocolate beast, that is. Convenience store chocolate cakes and milk shakes and earth quakes and high stakes as the opposite of what the body needs goes into it tonight. Mac 'n cheese and a meatball and pizza and shrimp. Pushing the limits (and the laxatives and lab values and good sense goes right out the window... oh, WINDOWS, pass another chunk of chocolate).
Laugh, sure, I'm not dead yet and odds are, I may even make it through the night. The Blue Screen of Death shall not defeat my spirit even as it consumes my computer, my internet, my distractions, my entertainments, my processing, my therapy, and my hopes of finding a job, not to mention my communication with far away friends (who care more than... well, now you went and depressed yourself, didn't you).
I chose to stay home today and tonight, passing on amply opportunities. A free movie ticket, a dinner, a party, and other things that might have made this just one more fun night of distraction from the dilemma ever growing around me and inside. A little reality-facing is a good thing, even when it hurts like hell. Hold on to yourself.
Saturday, December 3, 2016
That may be where we are at the moment, sudden death as in the game could be over at any moment. Go figure CBS All Access has love football on starting tomorrow. In any case, the computer issues continue as glitches in the new software I am using to use this laptop have popped up all day. No YouTube, no Wikipedia, some sites simply crash the browser. I am learning a lot, which I enjoy, but a lot of what I am learning is bad news. The day was like this.
Some communication with Jane, Helen, and Jackson. Some pizza and shrimp. Lots of water and some basic body care. Non-stop computer care. Some boredom. A few crashes. Learning the limits of the Mini-XP environment. Considering losing my mind.
How is your day going so far? :)
Well, let's see if this works. All signs indicate that the hard drive finally failed beyond repair. I spent several hours trying every fix available and finally gave up. Then The maharaja found a boot disk and I booted into Windows 95 from the CD Boot Disk and am learning my way around, figured out how to connect to the net, and here we are. I feel like I traveled back in time and am using an older version of Opera and was able to access email and while Blogger says this is an error because this is an unsupported browser, I shall attempt to upload this entry in spite of the warnings and odd appearance.
Earlier today I slept most of the day as I was awake all night. The body and mind are not getting the rest they need and it showed in the digestive system. Tinman called and invited me for dinner so i headed up to his new house and caught up with some old friends, then we played cards (Old Maid) with his four year old daughter and then, after she went to bed, Harpo, Tinman, and I played Spades. I headed home to see if a rest would help the laptop and after several hours, accepted defeat. We come to the save by The Maharaja's Boot Disk and now, we shall push the empty box where the "Publish" button ought to be and see what happens.
Hope springs eternal, even amidst the challenges.
Friday, December 2, 2016
So being awake all night did not produce anything productive or good for the positive changes I need in this life, but I did catch up on some TV shows and somehow cross-wired the brain circuits to vegetative hyperbole, or something like that. I finally went to be well after daylight and woke during the day to visit with the online TV and then fell back to sleep and when I woke, found an invite to dinner at Tinman's so that is where I am heading.
The bad (or blammed) news is the laptop would not restart when I woke and I spent some time trying and will need to get serious about fixing it when I get home tonight.
Narf and then some.
Thursday, December 1, 2016
So Facebook changed my privacy settings without telling me and I am told that received more than a hundred Happy Birthday messages on FB today because the fake birthday I put online was announced as my birthday even though I set the privacy settings for the birth date to private, me only. Whatever, Facebook is not real life and I am on a break from it. What is real is I found a pair of pants and went to my interview. I did fine and hopefully I will hear good news early next year (though I am probably up against some stiff competition, at least I made it to the final five or six). After the interview I finished updating yesterday's entries and then headed out for cards at Excel and the Commodores. That was the usual fun and frustration as the double standard (do as I say, not as I do) was strong tonight but it passed the time. I did not eat much today and am resisting food tonight, so maybe it's time to find the sleep button in my head (used to be easy as pie, until I stopped eating pie at night).
Ah, the folly of conformity and inhibition.
Laugh alone, and the world thinks you're a clown.
Dance alone, and the world thinks you are crazy.
The world has it all wrong.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Yes, I decided not to put fucking day in the title because, efter all, a lot of people want to be offended by damn words even when they are used properly to describe something. Simply, these are the reasons for the state of today. No pants for the interview tomorrow; Laptop crashing multiple times; Loss of words, work, mind; Anemia symptoms worse; Head cold worse or mold or anemia even worse; Lost BP med prescription; Lots of laundry; Weight loss stopped; $2500 spent on CC this month pushes me into tapping the emergency car payment funds (major line I did not want to cross); Tinnitus worse; Hungry; Lonely; Who cares mode is on (high volume).
There's probably more, but the computer crashed so many times I just want to stop using it.
So how was your day?
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
The usual, more later... When I sat down here last night I started nodding off and just went to bed. The body is struggling die reasons medical science is investigating (and annoying head cold symptoms to boot), so it was time to collapse and sleep. I slept, except for the usual waking to urinate a couple or few times, almost twelve hours. I am still tired, but much less exhausted than I was last night.
The usual fun playing cards and some of the food Curly made. I lost this entry three times already to computer glitches and stupidity so i am in no mood to trust the computer with words right now so that is all for now.
Yes, there is some sort of major revolt going on in my head and it is getting revolting, a revolting revolt, I tell ya. You can read the day's details in the usual place (I just don't feel like being clever here just now). Eyes puffy, nose red, drip drip drip both ways, cough cough, headache... is it a cold, mold, anemia, or a combination of all three. I just want to get into bed but if it's the mold it won't get any better in this moldy space. life and it's wonderful little challenges, gotta love it. Cuz I don't want to leave it, ya know?
So how is your rhino?
Monday, November 28, 2016
So I once again come here (and babbled in the detailed blog) to share words with that seemingly infinite indomitable hope that someone will read and care and share and ease the loneliness. Futility, I know not your meaning. The news was on earlier because Jackson reached out (am I flattered and happy she reaches out when she is stressed? Does that mean she still holds me in high esteem and has value for me in her life? Am I reading too much into a few text messages? I hope so, I hope so, and I hope not) about the drama at Ohio State. I watched the news and let her know what was going on. Then I wrote and researched anemia because I am feeling so poorly. Symptoms for anemia and for mold are similar, so who knows, both. I should have done laundry since I have no clean softball underwear, but I did not find the motivation or energy to want to go outside and the laundry room is in a shed outside. Silly Me. I must get up to stretch and loosen my neck as the last regular season softball game for this year is in two hours. I laughed a lot today until the news and body aches got under my skin.
So how was yours (day? body? skin? life?).
Sunday, November 27, 2016
After checking mail, scanning for jobs, and writing this afternoon (trying to focus through a whole lot of fog), Excel texted to set up a Bridge game for tonight because she and the Commodore have been out of town all week. I was getting really good hands, but not concentrating well as the head cold or allergy was very distracting. Curly made dinner, meat and potatoes as usual. I brought carrots. We had fun, but we were all exhausted. Bridge junkies, one and all.
Home now, I am going to let myself fall asleep early. Jackson just texted good night, right on time.
Nite nite :)
Yucky is the feeling in the body (which is slighly more descriptive than poorly, in case you do not have the technical manual handy). I am doing my best to rest comfortably in this environment which is more comfortable than the last place I was staying in many ways, but still not "my place" as the room is mostly filled with The Maharaja's furniture and stuff. There is also a strong mold must smell, so naturally a meaningless complaint was filed with the board of health in my head. Hopefully The Maharaja has a sense of humor as open and comfortable and silly as mine and is laughing too, if he stumbles upon my endless stream of babbling in this blog world (there's always home for an ego-less secure sense of humor as long as Douglas Adams is still writing his seven part trilogy somewhere in this universe and as long as my mind is active, he is... Robin Williams, Don Quixote, and George Carlin understand).
This could have been fun fun fun fun if I was not feeling so poorly. Yucky too.
Yes, the body is definitely fighting a cold/flu bug. After some improvement when the day began, the throat is increasing it's soreness, the nose is increasing it's running, a cough is developing, and the body is not feeling any better than the last time we checked in. A full day out with large groups of different people, moving a friend with a group of other friends I do not see often - lifting and exerting myself, followed by dinner in a close-quartered restaurant in another town, followed by a play in a small crowded theater exposed to another large group of strangers, followed by several hours on the phone with Harpo while sitting in the car with the windows rolled down, all likely added to presenting more challenges that the immune system could handle. So the body is fighting and I should rest more and I suppose this means we shall also test whether this environment is a death trap for the body in this state.
Criminal, this aging process.
Today was a absolutely wonderful day otherwise.
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Not sure just where it went, it was here a minute ago, or few. A whole Friday done gone and left my mind. I watched some more TV. Criminal Minds Suspect Behavior, I think. Not very impressed, but it passes the time and occupies the mind with alternative thoughts. Life can be monotonous without softball and games and they both were absent this week. One more softball game left until mid-January. Cards and games are not as fun as they were the first few months. Change and new input is definitely welcome. Chatted with The maharajah, his mind is a challenging smile. I was also elsewhere writing other things in other blogs (perhaps the detailed version of this lost day will share some links, in case it matters)and and I filled in some past blank dates in this and the details blog, but dang if I remember specifics (or details) about it. Maybe you do.
Did we have fun?
Friday, November 25, 2016
Nose, throat, ear, blah. Jackson is sick too, just up the road, so far away. I got some sleep and woke and watched more TV and wrote, writing for the words of it. Feels good, even when I feel bad. Took my vitamins. Hungry. Nothing open Thanksgiving evening except CVS and Walgreens so mediocre junk food. The bowels are giving me some hope for the moment. Morning comes, babble continues, good sign.
Thursday, November 24, 2016
still not feeling well. Change in meds (side effects), maybe changing the diet, definitely not sleeping well and very low iron levels, extended body chill, too much time breathing in moldy air, possibly something else. Still a runny nose, scratchy throat, low energy, high blah and the ear continues screaming, pulsing. Wednesday blahs or a head cold. the last 48 hours watching TV, then there's sunrise.
I cancelled plans for dinner with Jane. I'm just was not up to visiting strangers for a Thanksgiving dinner. Gonna sit back on the bed, rest, and watch some more TV. Maybe more sleep will help.
Did I mention I have an interview for a Health Department Investigator Manager job next week?
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Maybe it is the power of suggestion, but I was feeling ok yesterday morning, just tired and a bit bloated, when I went to the doctor and had a nurse and the doctor tell me that I must not be feeling well and this morning, after sleeping more than ten hours, I am not feeling well. I did not sleep well, waking three times (at least) to urinate (started the BP med with the diuretic again last night so that explains that and will take some getting used to again and that may play a role in the overall not feeling well, but there are other factors too) and remembering being restless. The change in weather (dryer, cooler, chilled) may play a role too. I changed eating patterns again which also likely plays a role. Feeling bloated and yet hungry. Meanwhile, how are you?
Went to the doctor yesterday, as I said. She expressed concern over my apparently increasing anemia and changed my GI doctor to the head GI doctor, but that moved the appointment two weeks further out, so it is a month from now. The body temperature was 97.4, for what it's worth. After the doctor I went to the storage place to pick up some long sleeve sweatshirts as Fall has finally arrived. Then I returned here and figured out how to open cans with a "safety can opener" (that was a puzzle and I don't like the contraption) and then I used the food processor (a Cuisanart from the 1990s) to prepare what was supposed to be chicken salad but turned out to be puree chicken with carrots and onions and mushrooms. I washed everything and retired to my room to watch TV until I fell asleep.
Are we still here? :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
The focus on eating healthier for weight reduction started today. As I did not get home until almost 3 am and then wrote and uploaded babble to the old babbling blog TheReal(TM), I slept until about 10 am (I think) and then checked email and job opportunities. A call came to let me know I made it to stage two of a management job with the Health Department and and I have an interview for December 1st. The Maharaja's friend packed and left and I helped her load her car. We exchanged emails and numbers and she said she'd send me some information about jobs she knows about. I enjoyed the afternoon playing chess and writing, then playing chess and watching some TV on the computer until I showered and headed for softball. I did not hit well, two at bats, two outs. The team did not field well and we lost 16-12. After my game I hung out to watch friends play their games and then headed home for a shower and here we are. A simple day.
Hope you enjoyed your day too. :)
Monday, November 21, 2016
A full day of softball and then softball celebrating and then just plain old celebrating brings us back here at this late hour. The luxury of sleeping in was great and I woke around 11 am to sit back and relax and type freely into babble until it was time to shower and head to the fields. We won our game to finish the season in third place. Three of our four losses came against the top two teams on days when our key players did not show up and we stretched for subs who were very weak and still played with just nine players. After the last game I headed home and showered and wrote some more before heading to the end of season banquet. Good food, lots of people, awards. After the banquet a group of us went bar hopping to two more bars and then to a midnight show at P-House (lots of skin) and then to I-Hop for more food. I am way too stuff, just like old times, not good. Tomorrow I start the reversal of the past week's eating pattern. All in all, a fun day, evening, and night.
Hope you had a fun Sunday too. :)
Sunday, November 20, 2016
A busy day from wake up before sunrise through just getting home after midnight. Writing in the morning, then off to Tinman's to paint, then to dinner with Helen, then to cards with Curly, Excel, and The Commodore, and now back to The Maharaja's place where he is busy welcoming another guest. Turns out she is moving to Orlando, which is a surprise for him and I wonder how that will effect my staying here. They are chatting in the living room. Positive thoughts please (The mind is not cooperating with that request). Fatigue. I sent out two more job applications tonight as I checked email when I got home. Received another rejection email. All in all, low on the energy and happy-happy-joy-joy scales (and when both are low, it's a hard knocks life, aye gov'na?... nothing to say, but it's ok... la la la).
Keeping busy, keeping up appearances, fun until I am alone again, naturally.
Tomorrow, tomorrow... hope you are smiling :)
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Yes, tired bloat dominates the morning (details on how I got here are in the usual place). Since the last entry, let's see... I was awake a few more hours last night on the internet and then slept about 4 hours. Woke to heal to Tinman's place to help him paint. Painted about four hours and then headed to the hospital to have blood drawn for lab work. I had forgotten to drink water so I drank 85 ounces on the way to the hospital (five 16.7 ounce bottles). Probably distorted the labs, again (last time I was dehydrated and the doctor said I should make sure I was hydrated before going for the blood draw this time). Lots of urinating since then. Then headed to the Chinese buffet to refuel as I had fasted 24 hours. Then headed here and passed out in the chair. Woke several times to urinate and slept very restlessly, waking with a desperation frustration (as opposed to fear) scream in a dream. Came here, and here we are.
Busy day in a few hours. Time to shower. Hope your day is fun too.
Friday, November 18, 2016
Yes, the day flips into the night and the clock on the wall... well... that's for the babbling. For here and now, in this blog of brevity, the date/time stamp is finally right. For the details, you know where to go. We had fun playing Bridge tonight, though it was as much chattering about this and that as it was Bridge. We were enjoying it enough to play an extra couple of hours and we all got along well, which is a very pleasant change from recent months. They ate the usual and I stopped at the best Chinese buffet in town before going there because I need to fast tonight and I wanted to eat earlier. Delicious.
Tomorrow is an early day as I will be helping Tinman paint rooms in his new house so i am going to try to unwind and get to sleep soon. Keep true to you and the world will come around. Or something like that. :)
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Well, there are a whole lot of words in the files and a whole lot more in the Facebook activity log (not even counting the old profile if I ever get around to sending a driver's license to them to reopen it if it is still there) and a whole lot more in emails to catch up on and sort and somehow share online, at least in part, but for now, I don't seem to be too organized. Waking after fasting since Tuesday evening, the energy level is low. Finding some unfinished business in the brain (I have not been updating here and though I just updated the past week, I am still more than a week behind in the Dirt, Drama, and Details which is where the dirt, drama, and details (and any other cranial clutter) is processed... you remember the process, right? The links (and likely more here and a whole lot more elsewhere) will be added later, I hope.
I shall shower, wake up, and see about all that there stuff upstairs.
Yup, that's a plan.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
So much for hump days. My Wednesdays have typically been more like slump days this year. Every other day has a scheduled activity that keeps me occupied and provides fun (and some positive stress with the occasional negative stress which is what life does, basically). Wednesdays I typically have nothing to do so I sleep in later than usual and stay on the laptop all day. Today I caught up on a few TV shows, scoured the email and internet for jobs, applied for a couple (it was a very disappointing day for the job market), and mostly vegged. Excel and Harpo checked in on me, which was nice. Jackson sent a couple of morning emojis about 7:30 am... I replied and went back to sleep. Life goes on.
One of these days I will do something with all the internet conversations I've been engaged in and there may be a whole lot of linking going on, but for now, all is quiet. Mostly.
Take care of you :)
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
the best we can do is the best we can do. I made it to the doctor this morning and was happy to see the same doctor (never know at the free clinic and this was just my third visit in more than a year). The usual few hours waiting, but then the doctor and I chatted about the lab results (finally, aye?) and she agreed with my reading of them and was happy I took steps to address them all. She ordered more labs and changed the blood pressure meds (the BP was up) to remove the diuretic (due to the labs) and we shall see how that goes. I realized anxiety has been much higher than usual in recent weeks.
After the doctor I finally stopped at the storage place and "shopped" through my boxes, packing two boxes full of stuff (mostly food). After that I went to lunch at a local Japanese buffet. Yes, treating myself for emotional support, but also for food since I have been eating lightly (fasted three days last week and was down 23 pounds from my last doctor visit). After that, home and a nap as I only slept two hours, if that much, last night.
After the nap, to Curly's for cards. Eh. Life goes on.
Happy Birthday Ray... Happy Birthday Barb. :)
Monday, November 14, 2016
More of the usual online stuff, scanning emails for jobs, jobs sites for jobs, the sky for jobs... sigh. Also still spending more time on Facebook reassuring friends and staying in touch. The body presented a challenge today and I will be heading to the doctor tomorrow morning. Alas, the pattern of getting better has changed and la la la, I'll hope for the best. I did make it to softball and did well there and then hung out watching friends playing in other games, then headed home for more online. I watched some internet TV for a change. Caught up a little on old shows. Then stayed up all night, eh.
Talk to the body tomorrow. Take care of yours. :)
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Early day at the fields as Jackson had three games, the first starting at 9 am and I had a 10 am game with her next two right after. Turned out she and Brandi were no-shows and she didn't mention it to me, which was sad on a few levels. Her team went 2-1 on the day and my team won big, fun day at the fields and then a fun evening at the usual local sports bar with friends from other teams for dinner and darts and football on the TV. As everyone left I stayed with a few people (the couples seem to stay later) to watch the end of the late games and then headed home (alone again, naturally). The Maharaja was up and we chatted for a while, then I headed here to type the words and stay in touch with the online communications that increased dramatically this week and eventually, sleep.
Hope your Sunday was as much fun as mine, or more, even. :)
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Most of us stand on the sidelines watching, some cheering, some spilling into the street to feel closer only to be pushed back so the parade can pass through. Some volunteer to be part of the parade and follow the instructions of the parade organizers and a few organize groups that make up the parade. I was in that last category and my group were the Angels and they did themselves proud. Much cheering, some tears, and a whole lot if beaming smiles. Physically it was challenging, but everyone felt good at the end (I imagine they will be sore tomorrow, but the emotional high would be worth it for most).
After the parade, as it is for me, I wandered the festival areas in the downtown park alone. Jackson left to parts unknown before we could hook up and other friends did the same, to the local bars and hang outs. I just don't enjoy that alcohol-infused atmosphere anymore, so I headed home after a while. Early softball in the morning, so perhaps sleep would be wise. After more internet time.
The roller coaster ride continues. :)
Friday, November 11, 2016
Online and on the phone a lot again today exchanging messages with people who are looking for comfort and reassurance that they are not alone. Sadly, I am hearing about some suicides and other serious needs, though no one in my physical world contact circles have reached that point. I am lucky and happy to not be working so I have the time to be there. As usual, my sleep pattern is turning upside down because I am a night person, but I am still waking to do some job searching most days. Just giving friends more of that time than I have in the past.
The evening was softball, then the local sports bar where I again ate dinner and I splurged for darts. Though even there friends needed to talk about fears of the new President and his followers, it was a fun night after an emotional day.
Hope you are ok, reach out anytime. :)
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Friends are the counselors we don't pay, the people who listen when we need to talk about something good or bad, the people who keep us from feeling alone or afraid or unstable. Today I spent most of the day online or on the phone with friends who are panicked by the election results. Sad and some are reacting to fears of what might be a bit prematurely and without logic from my perspective, but that is often what fear is, an illogical reaction to possible outcomes. There is legitimate reason to reason to fear the intolerance and hate rhetoric, but we must do our best not to empower the fear. I am doing my best to be there, offer hugs, and find words that clarify what they are expressing so they can feel reassured.
Another Bridge night and it went ok, though the tension and mood swings continue from Curly when he is not winning. Strange. I do my best to help him but he's put a wall up so I just play with the group and let him be.
Hope you are ok with politics, friends, and life. :)
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
After getting home from playing cards last night I found The Maharaja on the couch watching the election report on his laptop (no cable TV or any TV here) and found out it was looking like Clinton was going to be Trumped, which is scary because it might empower the hate groups that so adamantly expressed support for Trump, but then, Clinton is scary for other reasons.
Life goes on.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Facebook and DNC harassment made politics relatively unavoidable this year (I usually do mybest to pay no attention to the men behind the curtain). Phones calls from the DNC interrupted my sleep, my meals, my activities, and most important today, my job searching too many times to ignore. They lose, as far as I am concerned. I did get to send out two resumes and applied for one job online in spite of the Democrats phone calls and texts. The fact that I am job searching means I can not block unknown numbers. The fact that every unknown number brings me a rush of adrenaline and a peak of stress as I take a deep breath and prepare for a job interview call makes their continued calling from different numbers is abusive to me on several levels. Any lawyers out there?
I am off to play cards now that my day of job searching is done. The harassment DNC may not be over.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Sunday, November 6, 2016
With some exceptions like a flare-up of the physical ailments and overdosing on meat and carbs for the first time in more than a month, but I survived with a little help from a laxative and out we went to softball. Fun softball day in spite of some players not showing up and losing one game because we simply did not have the talent on the field or in the batter's box. We may finish fourth this season. After softball we went for food at the local sports bar, watched some games, and then it was home to the computer and eventually, sleep. Some emails, a job application, a bit of Facebook, the usual Sunday.
Blah Blah Blah.
Saturday, November 5, 2016
That would be Crane's Roost, which I a park, so the Chicago theme continues to some extent. After waking late I spent some time unpacking, then on Facebook, then in email and online for jobs, and then I went out for the afternoon to a food and beer festival. I focused on the food and left the beer for those who like the stuff. Much food, alas, much set back on the whole healthy diet and improve lab results thing. Reset any day now, I hope. I talked Harpo into coming out and walking around the festival with me. After the walk in the park, I headed to Excel and the Commodore's for a cards and games night and had fun playing cards and games, though not necessarily in that order. They had some cheap pizza there and I foolishly continued pouring calories and carbs and fats into my digestive tract. The taste buds celebrated as the body died. After the fun of the games (and cards) I headed back here and by then, it was tomorrow.
Happy Fifth of November.
...and happy Birthday Z.
Friday, November 4, 2016
Sleeping past noon again because I was up until past 5 am working on a potential job assignment and finally heading to bed after sunrise, I spent the afternoon unpacking some stuff and moving in. The desk is taking shape, the chair and clothing rack was put together, and the laptop continued crashing when I let it sit idle for more than five minutes (and also when I let iTunes play, so iTunes does not keep it active the way a browser playing a streaming show does). slowly, but surely, the laptop is dying. The evening came and I headed to softball. It was good to play again after a week away and I did better than usual so maybe I needed a break to clear my head but more likely it was an energy drink I drank before the game, first one I had in more than a month. This week was exhausting.
This week was also exciting, challenging, and coming to a sweet close. Hope yours was too. :)
Thursday, November 3, 2016
Moving into a new habitat is starting over in so many ways. There are health risks here, but it is a home and I am welcome and that is a wonderful thing. I woke for good some time after noon and set up the laptop a bit more comfortably and set up the room a bit more comfortably and brought the stuff in from the car and chatted with The Maharaja for a bit when he got home just before I was leaving for cards. I stopped at the store for a few things and dinner and cards was fun with a bit less tension than last time. Arriving back here I started a new file for writing and checked email and found a pre-hire screening work assignment that I worked on all night. There's always hope.
Are you still there? :)
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
By work, I mean the physical labor of packing and moving. By play, I mean enjoying the final game of the baseball World Series with a seriously deep emotional connection to someone who has an intensely seriously deep emotional connection with one of the teams. Yes, today everything was moved out of the unfinished place Curly let me stay in and into the storage unit (mostly) and the room The Maharaja is letting me stay in. Exhaustion on every level is an understatement. I would probably make no sense if I tried to explain any more. See for yourself, in case it matters. Everything is moved. I forgot one thing that I know of and if Curly wants it, he can have it. It is time to sleep in spite of the excitement of being in a new space with a new roommate and the trepidation to adjusting to the challenges this new space and roommate do and may present. Work and play. That's life.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Today was, is, and will be the packing day as it continues with just one focus, pack everything with as much order and labeling as possible. Success still seems a long way off in the distances and this guy may be right, I may be crazy. In fact, this guy too. If you are bored, you can still make a brain cake for your friends and family. They don't even have to be zombies.
I wonder how we'd feel if there was a Bureau of Caucasian Affairs. Or a Bureau of African American affairs, for that matter.
Yeah, so anyway, back to the report (or record) of the daily life...
The as you might already know, I packed a lot today. I did go to the storage place and signed the papers and paid the money so I have officially contracted for storage. may have gone out to the Chinese Buffet since I had no food in the place. But mostly it was packing, packing, packing. And labeling the boxes. So mostly it was packing, packing, and more packing and labeling the boxes. The evening was continued packing while Sweating the Cubbies.
Wish you were here. :)
Monday, October 31, 2016
Now see here!... I am waiting for you to return from the link you just clicked on. If you did not click on it, this might not make sense and you'd only have yourself to hold accountable, or blame, if you are into such things. My excursions into guilt are frivolous teases like this one, but oh so often we are misunderstood by those blinded by guilt. Meanwhile, it is six nights later and I returned here to try to catch up.
I did not go out for Halloween this year. Just did not feel like costuming or showing up without a costume because that creates too many dialogues into which I was not interested in engaging. Or something like that. I must have done something this day and night, but as you might already suspect, I don't remember off the top of my head. Some packing, perhaps, and assorted sundries. Some TV, probably, and some emails. Definitely some job searching and applications. Softball was cancelled due to the holiday and life went on without me. The end of the world as I know it was fast approaching.
So what else is new? :)
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Like a plane heading into a tailspin, I am on a downward spiral and have been for a couple of weeks. I can blame those around me for there are certainly very negative energies and influences around me, but it is my choice. So I stayed in most of today and got nothing accomplished except sending out a couple of resumes and watching a lot of TV. I went out the the Chinese buffet again and will likely not eat tomorrow because I did. I watched the Cubs squeak out a win by the skin of their teeth and then watched more TV. It is late. I should sleep. Why am I so happy? (and who takes this seriously, remember?)... so... Why so serious?
lol. lam. Narf :)
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Just staying home is getting a little boring, though I did get some more packing done, I wrote to my heart's content, and spent no money which are all good things. I headed to The Maharaja's place to see the room and get a feel for the whole space so I can pack what I can bring there better. I stopped for some more small storage boxes because I seem to have misplaced a dozen or more storage boxes (misplaced?... yeah, I thought the same thing). The laptop was taken over by the demon Microsoft and I missed the end of the World Series, but at least it is still working after the latest forced update. I decided not to go to any of the parties I was invited to tonight, just not in the party with a lot of people mood. Watched TV instead. Made a spinach for dinner with a yogurt for dessert. Just hanging out. Waiting for the right one, as usual.
How about you? :)
Friday, October 28, 2016
Once again I was up all night and slept late, past noon, and then I worked on the move. I finished washing towels and sheets so all I have left is a last load of the clothes I'll wear until the move before I unplug the washer and put it in storage. I packed up most of the food except the refrigerated foods and I cleared space to stack the boxes so they are prepared for the move. Then it was time for softball and we had fun, even though we lost. After softball a bunch of us went to a sports bar to have dinner and watch the World Series game. Ate way too much. Stayed until the end, then came here to watch TV and write. That's life today.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
The actual time is about two hours from now but who's here to keep track or even know, ya know? Today was just another day among many other days and the usual happened once again. Internet, job searching, emails, watched a little TV, and ate pills. That's right, I didn't feel hungry today, so I ate the usual pills and had about two ounces of apple wine vinegar and drank lots of water. Did not get any more packing done and didn't exercise, self-reprimand should follow any day now. I headed to Excel and the Commodore's place for Bridge and the usual fun and discomfort was waiting. I focus on the fun and do my best to ignore the discomfort and sometimes that works just great. It feels great to sidestep the drama and stuff. You know where to find the details. Just getting home and here we are. All caught up and nowhere to go. So much fun it is to write, cha cha cha.
Narf lol lam :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
I did the usual internet stuff. Searching for jobs, reading, applying when feasible, and watching some TV and wrote some blogs and an email. Then I headed out for a while. Had the tires put on the car which made today the most expensive day of the past year (except for when the 6-month insurance payment was due). Stopped at five other places to take care of some business and shopping. I drove around a while and then stopped for food, alas, splurging again on calories. I headed home, ate, and watched TV, and fell asleep.
Life is amazing if you want it to be.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Finally decided on tires after doing more research. Spoke with the car dealer and Toyota Corporate and that lead me to talk to a company called Safeguard and I found out I have three types of insurance with them, but no road hazard on the tires. Another failure by the Toyota dealership. I also found out it costs $160 to upgrade the maps in the car Navigator, a Toyota rip-off since a Garmin or Tom Tom can be purchased with more useful features and lifetime map updates for that price. Hours on the internet and I decided on Pirelli tires over the Michelins. I watched some TV and then headed to Curly's for card night. Ate pizza there and worse for the health plan, stopped for a quesadea on the way home. Sometimes it is a mess.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Today I spent most of the day searching the internet for jobs, tires, insurance rates, computers, and mostly stayed on track. I made changes to my current insurance to lower the premium, got several quotes lower than my current rate, found the tires I want to buy, learned about the latest available computers, applied for a few more jobs, and had a bit of fun cuz the internet is such a fun (and distracting) place to do anything, no less work. After that I played softball and hung out at the fields for a few hours getting fresh air (feeling the brisk chill) and then came home and watched some internet TV.
So how about you... can you top this excitement?
lol lam narf :)
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Woke up, got out of bed... not even sure I own a comb though. I did take a shower and get softball dressed. This morning was the first 50 degree morning so I broke out the long sleeve undergarments and winter softball socks and was comfy as can be. It was a good softball day. I had excellent control of my pitches and we won our game, then I pitched for the all-star game and we won that one too. Struck out more than a few batters in each game, striking out the last batter looking.
There were a few challenges. I was passing kidney stones all through the games and they finally passed after the game. I found a flat tire when I went out to the car and it wouldn't take air at two different places on the way to the fields, but I made it to the fields. After the second game I called road service through Geico and that didn't work out, but a couple of other players helped change the tire. The jack that came with the car sucked. Still, a good day.
Saturday, October 22, 2016
I did laundry all morning and sorted and folded and re-stacked all the clothes that I will not be boxing up. Packing must be completed this week. I caught up with TV shows while folding and such. I went to a barbecue at one of the bikers for Pulse homes The third time I went off my low calorie diet plan this week. Even bought a cake and had a piece. After the party I headed home and watched some TV and was nodding off when Jackson reminded me that the Cubs were trying to win the pennant and so I turned on the radio and listened. Go Cubbies!
Early softball day tomorrow so nite nite :)
Friday, October 21, 2016
It was a long day that was not wonderful, but I survived. Whatever happened, it's over and I am ready to get back to having fun now. Softball sucked, the umpires were ridiculously ignorant and weak, bullied by the other team into very bad judgment calls that prevented me from pitching safely. Details are where they belong. Life goes on.
I forgot what else happened. One of those days.
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
All day in the car, then all evening sitting playing cards makes for a sore butt and tight muscles. Woke early for the fingerprinting for the screening for the job I interviewed for yesterday and then took care of printing papers and driving them down to the office. So the process is complete from my end and now the wait begins. Meanwhile, the search continues. Today, however, I drove around town and while I did not get some things I wanted to do done, I did get a sense of the potential traffic experience if I get the new job. Just think, I could have been Ubering. I searched for buffet restaurants on the east side of town and found none so I eventually rode back to the west side of town and splurged on the Crazy Buffet. Shrimp in all shapes and sizes. After dinner I drove back to the east side to play cards at Curly's place. It was the usual oddness, but mostly fun. I had a few chips and salsa but did not eat the hot dogs and beans. Arriving home, the bowels were released as usual and here we are, summing up the day. All the fun of the fair. :)
Monday, October 17, 2016
Slept well-ish, better than most nights. Woke with time to spare to be ready for the interview and that went very well. Many signs point to an offer, but it'll likely take a couple or few weeks as it is a state position. I spent the rest of the day following up on requirements like a drug test, fingerprint screening, switching my auto insurance to business use, and getting documents proving I did that and a few other things. I relaxed a bit before the late game and am just returning from softball. Long busy day, two carrots. That is I ate two carrots. Life is good. :)
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Another Sunday, another softball game. Two, in fact, and we won both. Today was a fun day in the sun watching a few games and playing two close ones. I watched most of Jackson's game and got to say hi to her for a quick minute after her game. She doesn't hang around to watch my games anymore which is sad but I understand, like is her and her girlfriend and their animals. I didn't go out afterwards to save money, not be tempted to consume calories, and rest. I woke about 4am and I'm tired. A much fun day. :)
Hope your days was fun too :)
Fell asleep early last night and while I woke three or four times, I slept most of 9 or ten hours. The body has some aches after yesterday's 5K (brisk walk with a little jog) and then walking around with Jane afterward. Watched TV once I got back here, then fell asleep. Waking now, the abdominal bloat is evident, weird and concerning given I am not eating a lot. Hopefully I will have a job and health insurance before the body ends up in the hospital.
So how was your night? :)
LOL, narf :)
Thursday, October 13, 2016
Spending time at the computer is often wonderful even when it may be wasteful on other levels. Today I was alternately wandering Facebook and sending out resumes and job applications. I received a call for an interview for Friday morning for a state investigator job. I skipped eating again. Then playing cards and ignoring the grilled hot dogs or whatever else was there. Did not even open my salad or carrots while I was there, but ate the veggie tray when I got home. A yogurt and some raw potato starch finished the meal. That was about 30 hours ago. The computer occupied the time I was not sleeping since then and I may have slept about ten hours in two segments. I seem to be up for the rest of today and hope to get to the boxes because sorting and repacking is essential. Choosing a storage place and putting everything in storage is the next big move (literally and figuratively). For a little while though, I shall babble.
What are you doing with your time?
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
That is why I stop coming here from time to time, because whatever. I trust the dirt, drama, and details will expound on that if time permits or I feel like it. Meanwhile, another day passes. Mostly Facebook overnight, though more resumes went out as well. Writing to J in email more, writing here less. You might have noticed that last thing, aye? Fell asleep around noon, woke around 5:30 and showered and headed to Curly's for cards. Played a game of hearts and then a game of spades.Light conversation. Light fun. Drove home. Washing Towels (again). And here we are.
So what else is new?
Monday, October 10, 2016
I am beginning to wonder if most people, if not all people suffer (and it is suffering) from computer crashing. Suddenly, in the middle of your work, you find a blue screen telling you that Microsoft is collecting data from your computer and you can restart when it is done. Lately, that freezes and an hour later the percentage of completion is still 0% so I force shutdown with the power button and that's created hard disk errors and loss of data, work, time, patience, and opportunity.
That's life, trying to make the computer work.
Thursday, October 6, 2016
This is the brief daily blog. This is the dirt, drama, and details. This is today's entry that matches the date on this entry (though that doesn't mean it follows or has any other relation or reference to this one or any other that might have been written today or anytime). So please, let's be brief and stick to the daily report on life as it is lived here. M'ok? :)
The last time I ate was about 32 hours ago. I feel no hunger, which is a very good thing I will explain some other day in the appropriate blog (so far, so good, aye?). I am also sleeping very little. I finally fell asleep at about 4pm yesterday after sending our resumes all day then going to play cards then watching a couple of TV shows then not being able to sleep, I took a long walk and then showered and that woke me so I did some writing and then went to Fedex to print some things and then went to the exam for a job and then did some more job searching and as I said, finally fell asleep about 4pm. I woke about 9pm and have been searching for roommates since, sending out almost a hundred messages to strangers asking if they want to share living space with me. What a strange world we live in (what's this commentary doing in the brief daily?... oh, ooops). I texted with Jackson as usual (we talk through text every day and rarely hear each others voices anymore, speaking of strange worlds), spoke with Harpo (old school, he still uses a land line) for an hour or so during the roommate search, paused to find my phone back up batteries and brought water in from the car during the call, then wrote some more. That brings us here.
Well, I almost kept the rambling commentary out. Do I pass? :)
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
I just continue as if the body and mind require no sleep. If I sit around too much, though, I sink into a desperate malaise of hopelessness and despair. Yet with some exercise I awake from that delusion to find renewed energy and hope blooms from the darkness and rainbows shine through my years. Yeah, so that's what I did today. I searched for jobs online, sent resumes, filled out applications, took tests, emailed, and burned the energy until I sunk into a funk, but with a little help from my friends I pulled myself out and headed to Curly's for cards with healthy food and ate the healthy food (and two small pieces of pizza) and came home and watched a couple of TV shows online and then dropped into desperation as I was not sleepy yet had a job exam in the morning so I texted jackson (poor jackson) and then headed out for a brisk walk for 40-odd minutes (who's odd) and then showered and returned here and wrote two letters and found hope and energy and here we are. Job test in a few hours. What time is it?
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Lately I've been falling asleep after sunrise and waking in the late afternoon. I am most comfortable writing and being awake in the dark quiet of the night, always have been. The energy is healthier when most of the nearby world is asleep. So today was the same. After waking I watched some more George Carlin, then showered and headed out to a party for Alice at Harpo's. I saw some old friends and a few new friends who didn't even know Alice and it turned out to not be a party for her at all. She wasn't even mentioned until the last four people were playing cards well after midnight. Alas, people.
I ate way more calories than usual, though it could have been much worse. A dozen large cheese ravioli's with a little tomato sauce, not cheese toppings. Some of a peas, onions, chicken casserole. About two dozen mushrooms. A large piece of chocolate cake, first cake I've had in at least a month. Just water to drink. Home now, I am not sleepy but have a long day of softball staring in four hours.
So what's new? :)
Saturday, October 1, 2016
By mid-afternoon I can report that I fell asleep while watching George Carlin this morning and woke several times when texts came through. jackson, Excel, Curly, and a call from Harpo (he still doesn't use a cell phone). More texts than usual. I woke and in a few hours will head to Harpo's for dinner and a game party meant to celebrate Alice's life. I am watching more George Carlin while typing and waking up.
That's life here, how about yours?
Friday, September 30, 2016
I was awake all night again after sleeping from about 3pm to 9pm yesterday and spent most of the night browsing Facebook and other online stuff. I fell back to sleep well after sunrise and woke about 4pm, spent more time on Facebook, talked to Jackson for a few minutes, and then showered and headed to softball. Just getting home from softball, I showered again and here we are. See how exciting it can be to update daily?
Sarcasm for the win... Narf. :)
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
What a difference a coma makes. Or an m, for that atter. Matter, even. So ok, like here we are again giving brief daily updates a shot. Maybe it's the nostalgia of watching the first season of Saturday Night Live which, even after 40 years, is as stupid (and we mean that in the most complimentary way) and winsome as ever. Stupid and winsome, that's a lot like life these days. Or Beethovan. What a difference some drugs make, aye? Roll over. So today is Wednesday, you know what that means, we're gonna have a special guest.
No, not really. Nobody visits. Nobody cares. I am perfecting the self-pity song that nobody knows. Songs you never heard. Can I get an amen? Oh course not, but no worries, I didn't really want one.
See why I haven't been here? It is not as if I have actually been gone, after all. The gardens continue to grow, in case it matters. I just don't weed and feed or follow any of the normal protocols and styles or stop the mind from wandering where it will go, ya know?
Brief, to the point, just the facts, listing the events and experiences of the daily life is way too boring for me and that gets depressing so why bother? You want to know? So why don't you ask, huh? huh? huh? Ok, so today I woke up early and sat at the computer a few minutes looking at jobs and fell back to sleep. I headed back to bed because the stomach didn't feel good again (it's been a thing for a while) and a bad dream about finding my car stolen because I made a quick trip to buy something while someone important to me was waiting at a hotel or somewhere and I felt very sad because I had a lot of stuff in the car and I blew an opportunity to spend time with someone very important to me and my heart was crushed and traumatized... woke me up a few hours later.
So I turned on reruns of the first season of SNL and came here.
What a difference a day makes, aye?
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
That is happening. Eating healthier. I don't know if I will return here to add more entries in the time-gap between the current entry and the last entry, but there is this one and maybe a few more will pop up as I think about life and what has happened since the last entry which was just a day more than a month ago (too much detail? lol). I need to pretend someone actually wants to know, you see, and I have not felt like pretending lately. That is depressing. So a bit of on again off again depression has been happening too, which brings us back to eating healthier. While I am happy that I am taking living a bit longer more seriously again (though not exercising enough daily), the absence of comfort food does not help improve emotional conditions. That's life, but no worries.
Did you forget? Even I do sometimes lam :)
Monday, September 26, 2016
Well, this weekend was tough again but ended well. Not hearing from the job interview has been stressful. We played at inferior fields and the team didn't show up. We played one player short and once again I had a catcher who could not throw the ball back to me which breaks the pitching rhythm. I decided to let the other team hit and the fielding was mediocre just like last week. We had a couple of players who play poorly and they usually sit on the bench, but not only are they playing every week but we added three more players who are as weak or worse and neither coach wasn't there for the game. It was a mess.
After the game I went out to the sports bar with another team and had dinner and fun playing darts. We hung out late and if I had the funds I would do it more often. I may have to write off this season for Sunday softball because the coach doesn't care and the team doesn't seem to care (I have a lot more fun with other teams after the games), but I will hopefully find income and hang out with the fun after games more.
How's life for you?
Monday, September 19, 2016
Alice died. I know I have been away from this brief daily blog (and writing anywhere) a lot recently and I may return to fill in some entries as I sometimes do. I just wanted to note here the loss of a dear friend. Life goes on, one less person to call or text or interact with, but life goes on. I cry, I sigh, and continue.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Sunday softball was a serious fail today. We lost two games to two teams we would have beaten easily last season. We lost some players but worse, everyone played very poorly. I decided it was time to test the team as I usually do early in the season when the opportunity comes up and defense failed miserably and hitting sucked. I hit well, burned an outfielder and made just one out in two games, but not enough. Hopefully this is a wake up call for the coach and the team like it was last year (last year we started 1-2 and finished 14-2). This year we start 1-2 again. Next week should be an easy win unless the same effort shows up.
It did not help that I got news that a dear friend died and I was already having a stressed weekend as I was letting the lack of income and loneliness and health issues get to me. Tomorrow, start again.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Woke early for opening ceremonies for the Sunday Softball League. A Pulse and 911 tribute with flags and dignitaries, then softball. I took a larger role helping the Ratings Committee set up and then watched games and rated players until our game. We won 25-0 which was a big surprise. I credit the other team's ineffectiveness more than us, they walked at least a dozen of us. After softball I joined another team out at the local sports bar and hung out a while. That's life, have fun.
Friday, August 26, 2016
I simply got tired of repeating myself (wow, finally?... no worries, it's probably only temporary) and restricting myself to brief just-the-facts entries so I let the babbler take over the daily blogging (as was in done in years past (and then some) and that left this brief "part one" of the daily blog set without the abbreviated summary of life it had gotten used to. Apologies to anyone who has not had time for babbling and actually missed these brief updates. Feel free to meet me in the back room for a quick catch up session. Or complain, I respond well to complaints (he says with serious irreverence). Seriously, though, if you missed me while I was away, thank you. I'm even more surprised than you. :)
So like many other days, today was sleeping past noon, getting online for some job searching, writing, Facebook, email, and other sundries (not necessarily in that order) followed by cards somewhere else. Slipped in between was a shower and other necessaries (as Rooster Cogburn might say) and other odds and ends all topped off with some more writing tonight. Yes, all that and you were not here to enjoy the excitement.
So what's up with you? :)
Thursday, August 25, 2016
It was dramatic. It was traumatic. It was truly stupid when the bookshelf came tumbling down on my head spreading it's carefully sorted contents all over everywhere under things and in cracks and crevices that made clean up murder on the back. I'm just not built for crawling around on my knees on a hard concrete floor anymore. Where is the three year old I used to be?
Alas, some treasured mementos were broken. Serious hurt-filled losses. Just stuff, but what else do I have in this life anymore? The pity-party lasted a few hours. I had a meeting to go to and Jackson absorbed most of the self-loathing (bless her) and I cleaned the mess and made lemonades out of lemons by rearranging the room so I have a lot more living space in the one room I inhabit. Much more to do now that all the sorted stuff is back in two boxes completely unsorted, among a lot of other arranging needed around here, but hey, I am good at ignoring the mess under my nose most of the time.
Evening came and the Sunday softball manager's meeting was a place to get hugs and watch others drink. Coachess drove after I drove over to her daughter's house so I had someone to go with which was better for me. Loneliness is still raging like a forest fire in my spirit. That's life. Home for some more writing and then sleep, whatever dreams, comforts, and blahs I find there.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
No, there is nothing magical here tonight. Or there, for that matter. Maybe somewhere. Back to the routine. Wanting to spend the nights writing until sleep consumes every bit of energy and consciousness within. Wanting to let go of the world and just write and breathe and remember myself. Wanting. Instead, I am just getting back from another night of cards that mixed silly distraction with grumbling undertones because I am not stimulated enough on any level to be satisfied and sometimes my dissatisfaction shows because I do not like playing the superficial games of distraction and pretending that is enough all the time. I spent the day taking Helen's mom to the eye doctor and then treated myself to my favorite Mediterranean gyro, eating it at home in the heat and cramped space. Maybe that reminded me even more of where I am in life today (still adjusting to returning home from the escape to Austin). I enjoy the card games most of the time. I depend on my friends a lot these days for food and shelter. I appreciate them more than I can show. Still, there is a longing deep inside I can't always forget and when I remember, I can't always hide. Nothing magical. Just missing me. In case it matters.
Maybe I am just remembering the Late September Dogs a bit early this year.
Sunday, August 14, 2016
This time I decided to finish laundry and pack for my trip and finding things in boxes has left the place in quite a cluttered disarray and hopefully Curly won't come in while I'm gone because he is ocd about neatness and he won't like the cluttered disarray. I intend to straighten up when I get back, but there's just no time for that before I leave without throwing everything in boxes to make it look tidy and I don't want to do that.
Sleeping until almost noon, I showered and headed out to softball. Two games, lost the first 7-5 and won the second 15-3. After softball I headed to Excel and the Commodores for a shower and cards and games. Then I came home and finished laundry and packed as much as I could. Listening to music, winding down, heading for bed soon (I hope). Good morning sunshine. :)
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Slept most of the day, awakened by Jackson texting to actually chat a bit. She still does not get me after all these years, but it was really good to feel she cared and gave me a little time. After that I met Curly and found out he was meeting Excel and the Commodore at a mall and I went there for food truck dinner with them. We hung out there a while and then went to ColdStone for ice cream. More calories. Then we went to Excel and the Commodore's place to play cards for a few more hours. You know where to find more details. So when do we actually change habits to healthy smart? Feel free to come by and help.
Friday, August 12, 2016
After concluding the previous entry (or something like that) I tossed and turned (or at least stayed awake in bed) and slept less than I intended before waking and checking the Facebook PM I sent about the rally. I thought they'd at least respond, but no one did.
Worse than that, the post I put on my wall about the rally and just four people liked it. Bugs Webbotis rolling over in his grave. Good old Bugs will still not go away quietly. I just seem to repel people online I guess. Must be my literary charm.
As if I am not here, life goes on.
So I did my bit for the community helping out at the rally and after the rally I ate at the chinese buffet and then picked up the chair and then headed to Excel and the Commodore's place to play cards and that brings us here. Are we having fun yet?
Thursday, August 11, 2016
The pain of lost words returns and I do not have the back or time to recover, so I move on reluctantly and sadly accept what is as it is. Harpo and I went out for cheap fat food after I picked up rainbow ribbons for tomorrow's rally. After that, we shopped for a chair for me, but the one I liked was not in stock. Harpo did not seem into my search or me, so I dropped him home at his request and I picked up some chocolate and came here. Most of the time here was spent on Facebook today, alas. My support network offline is helping my fat cells grow and my support network online is way too political. Another new Facebook account may be in order.
Thank you for participating in this day. Hope yours was worthwhile.
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
I am back to the daily writing, but I am back very distracted by the back. An incomplete DDD entry demonstrates and discusses it further if you are interested. Last night I stayed up past 4am writing on Facebook. Many excerpts from my comments and writings there will be uploaded to various blogs like this if you are curious. Today I headed over the Curly''s early and ate lunch there, but with encouragement from him I ate a whole lot more calories than I intended. Like ten times more. My choices, my decision, but I do not seem to be ready to set myself out of the dinners he cooks when I go over there for now. I need to refocus if I truly want some weight loss. After lunch I wrote as I finally brought my laptop with me. He was fixing his bathroom plumbing and I helped a when a second pair of hands were needed. Dinner was the usual, barbecue and rich sides. We played cards until about an hour ago and here we are home and writing, however physically uncomfortable any position for writing may be at the moment.
All that griping aside, it was a great day and very fun night.
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Yes, there are still many blog entries missing, some in the pipe and some not even written. So much missing in the two months and the details are not pretty (You've been warned). It is a cold, cruel world out there. All that self-mocking irreverence distraction aside, Curly came by and we went to dinner cuz simply eating cheap here is not happening. I had dropped weight last week but who knows. Focus is lacking. I was going to help Curly with an air conditioner job at one of his houses but the tenant there never called him back so it was not done. He headed home and I headed here. I contemplated heading out for more food as I've been craving chocolate lately but instead had some herring in cream sauce and potato salad. That was satisfying. Apparently the border was not salty or fatty enough.
Tonight was mostly Facebook, again. Standing for several hours, at least. The back still hurts, but at least I can walk. I probably need to walk a lot more. Anybody wanna take a walk?