Indulging The Beast

The chocolate beast, that is. Convenience store chocolate cakes and milk shakes and earth quakes and high stakes as the opposite of what the body needs goes into it tonight. Add in the comfort foods of ac 'n cheese and meatballs and pizza and shrimp. Pushing the limits (and the laxatives and lab values and good sense goes right out the window... oh, WINDOWS! Oh the irony! Oh Alanis! Oh lol lam and laa! Pass another chunk of chocolate, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead, boys and girls, it's gonna be a bumpy ride lmao? lol).

Laugh, sure, I'm not dead yet and odds are, I may even make it through the night. The computer, well, maybe not. Still, the Blue Screen of Death shall not defeat my spirit even as it consumes my computer, my internet, my distractions, my entertainments, my processing, my therapy, and my hopes of finding a job, not to mention my communication with far away friends (who care more than... well, now you went and depressed yourself, didn't you).

I chose to stay home today and tonight, passing on ample opportunities. A free movie ticket, a dinner, a party, and other things that might have made this just one more fun night of distraction from the dilemma ever growing around me and inside. A little reality-facing is a good thing, even when it hurts like hell. Hold on to yourself, as the crow flies.

Narf :}