Something's Burning Somewhere

The title is reference to a Harry Chapin song, in case you didn't know. One thing burning is my candle at both ends. I am living a much busier life now than when I was working and would not be able to do it if I could not sleep late most days. In the morning I told my new Saturday coach that I would meet him at the senior league pick-up game on the other side of town. That means I might get four hours sleep if I am lucky. Actually, if I am lucky it will rain, but I don't know if they will answer the phone at the fields to let me know so I will likely have to wake and drive a half hour even if it rained. After playing sodftball for a few hours I will head home, shower, then meet a friend and head out of town for the evening. Meaning I expect another early long day and another very late night.

Today I woke before noon and Curly was over. We went out for lunch (a $1.50 hot dog that included a drink), he shopped for some stuff, and I returned here. Then I went out for Friday softball and as we were batting in the bottom of the fourth inning ahead 13-8, the sky opened and just like last week, the games were called. I drove straight to Curly's to meet him and Excel and The Commodore and Elton and Mystery (Elton's partner). We started learning a new game the commodore bought and then had pizza when Elton and Mystery arrived. We played cards the rest of the night and here I am, home and sleep typing. Of course before I do, I'll likely fill in at least some of the dirt, drama, and details.

Nite Nite :)

Sleep, Family, Friends, and Cards

Going to bed after sunrise once again, I slept until just after noon and woke to shower and re-dress my leg (which it healing nicely, thank you, as is the rest of the maladies) and head out to pick up Precious who has been asking me to help her transfer her phones (I thought I set up a code so she could do it without me but apparently the phone people lied) for a long time. We took care of it and she has a phone that works better now and she is officially an authorized user so she can do it herself next time. It was good to see her. After that I headed over to Curly's where I ate a sausage and a hot dog and then we drove to Excel and the Commodore's place where we place Bridge and had fun. I won again and while I am getting better, they let me ask a lot of questions which would not be allowed if we were playing in a Bridge club but we play for fun and they are helping me learn so we had fun.

I dropped off Curly and headed home. Played some Ruzzle, Words with Friends, and wrote a bit (you'll find more in the details and then came here to sum up the day. Sleep now? Hopefully soon.

Hope you had fun too :)

Readjusting Perspective

A surprising thing happened on the way to this Wednesday. A much more positive perspective seems to have emerged from inside. It's about time. Let's hope it lasts and continues to grow. The day was on the internet, mostly Facebook though Facebook time is mostly reading articles or watching videos that are not actually Facebook. I cut my hair tonight. Chopped, is more accorate. It remains a mess, just shorter. It did not help my hitting tonight though. The Wednesday night softball league team finally played and we won 6-3 against a very good team with an excellent pitcher. Maybe the haircut helped my pitching, but I suddenly have a pretty good defense on Wednesdays with the addition of a good atheletes, few girls and a couple of guys.

I parked out back again because the people in the other apartments that share this house had guests and one parked in my spot again. Curly and I talked about adding parking. All in all, a good day, which is outstanding for a Wednesday. It is Wednesday, right?

Hope you are smiling too. :)

Body Aches

Alas, the aches and pains and infections are taking a toll and delaying more vigorous exercise which delays many other things and it is not good for the body, mind, spirit, soul, anima, ka, and whatever other names we might give the various aspects of this being we call the writer of this blog and me. But I do march on through the wind and march on through the rain cuz there is no giving up in me even when I feel like and seem like I may be giving up. Shhhh, don't listen to the fool behind the curtain. Challenges only keep me down for a moment or few.

Today I rested, hoping the infection in the leg will run it's course without antibiotics. A few hours on Facebook and the internet and then, off to Curly's for Tuesday night cards which was fun and delicious as usual. Additional information can be found in the usual place. Hope your day was challenging and fun too. :)

Rising Up

Finally, the clouds may be clearing, the fog may be lifting, and the light is shining from within enough to clarify my view. It is sad to accept the changes that are real, disappointing too, but the perspective is returning. Ironically, Jackson gave me a book called Positivity for my birthday tonight. If she only knew me. And yeah, my birthday was weeks ago. That is life. She's busy. We move on.

I caught up on the babbling I love to do today in the two daily blogs and that felt very good (even better than the outcome for the week was so positive). Tonight, softball was great. I was pitching well against a great hitting team (they were the champs last season) and I hit well. They pinch ran for me every time because they think I am slower than I am and they figure resting the pitcher makes sense. They don't realize that running bases gets my adrenaline flowing and I usually pitche better when I am hitting well and running bases. I didn't mind tonight because the right achilles and heel was very sore. Maybe a touch of planar fascitis brought on by the bad right shoe. It didn't matter, I sprinted to first and surprised them with my speed three times and was safe all three times. We won 10-7.

I saw Jackson for a few minutes after watching her game. She showed me her new car. Subaru Crosstrek with everything, the model she's been wanting for years. I am glad she is doing so well. A hug, a few words. Then home to eat a sandwich and can of pasta. Harry Chapin has been on since I got home and that is always a great sign for me.

Hope your life is rising up too. :)

Fun Exhaustion

The sun blazing down for hours on end (nine ours out there today, eleven hours out there yesterday) with minimal to no shade between games contributes to fatigue that reached exhaustion by the this evening, but it was wonderful to be outdoors playing ball and hanging out with friends. We won both critical games today in spite of my badly bruised pitching arm. In fact I shut out the undefeated team except for one run on that got around the bases on three separate errors on three separate plays. Excellent softball day.

After softball I grabbed food at Arby's (I've eaten more fast food in the past eight weeks since I've been living by myself without a kitchen than I ate all last year... burp, bloat, blah) and it did not take long to nod off in the recliner. Heading to bed now.

Nite nite :)

Long Fun Day

I woke before 7am to get to the fields for the softball tournament. I was asked to be there are 7:30am because the first game was scheduled for 8am. I got there at 7:30am and at 7:31am the coach of the team texted me to let me know the tournament was delayed at least an hour. Last night's rain soaked the fields and the grounds crews were working on getting them in playable conditions. Apparently the rest of the team was notified earlier because no one showed up until close to 9am. Fun. That part of the day aside, we played all day and had much fun. I am achy and sore and have a huge bruise on the upper portion of my pitching arm after a batted ball hit me. Ouch. I survived and continued pitching. We did better than last tournament but the level of skill in this tournament is way above mine so there's a much higher risk of injury. I am getting more protective gear.

After the tournament I passed up on dinner with the team so I could get to Excel and the Commodore's place for Saturday night Bridge night and dinner. That saves money and lets me rest more. We had much fun tonight. Tomorrow there is more early morning softball so I really must find the unwind button and fall asleep.

Nite Nite Love you.

Another Softball Dud

Yes, once again I drove to the field and did not play. Tonight it was due to a rainout. The rain did not start until halfway through the game before ours and it poured hard enough for them to have to close the fields. The day saw Curly come over to pick up his tools that he left here and to do some work on his mom's house and on the other apartments in this house. I was a little grumpy cuz I wanted some me time and I was doing a second load of laundry and I did not want to be his helper today. I was still recovering from yesterday and knew I had a whole lot of softball (starting tonight) all weekend and needed to get my very sore feet and shins and muscles rested and recovered. Not to mention laundry.

After the softball rainout I decided to head home instead of going out with the team which saved money and may have saved calories. Still not hard core focused on dropping weight or exercising, but the lawn work and increased softball is putting this body through some serious paces and I do want to keep that up even though I wanted today off.

Hope your Friday was a good Friday. :)

Back to Working

I did some work around here and finally empty the car of heavy stuff I bought last week and I actually did one load of laundry today finally, the first load here. The machine worked fine. I hung it up and the racks I bought work well in this space (I hope, we shall see how the clothes dry tomorrow).

During the day I picked up Helen's mom early in the morning and took her to an eye doctor appointment and then I gave Curly a call to let him know I was done and was ready to help him. Lawn work day with Curly consisted of many hours of edging, weed wacking, and riding a stand on mower. muscles were very sore but more, the shins were covered with sctratchs, a few cuts (gouges), and bruises because I was clearing areas that had stones and branches and stuff that had not been cleared in months and the weed wacker whipped rocks and stuff into my shins. Brutal. Next time I will wear long pants and possible shin guards. Bouncing on the riding more left my feet bruised and next time I must have better footwear. Learning experience. Lots ot pain. We did a good job though.

That's all I remember about Thursday. Hope yours was fun too. :)

Another Wednesday Hump

Not the fun kind involving bumping and grinding with another person, but the downbeat kind that seems to come on Wednesdays as I sleep in and let the loneliness and the feelings of abandonment and the isolation and lack of income and tiny unfinished space and lack of partner and all the other blues to blacken my mind. I have been skipping out of my mind lately on Wednesdays and sometimes leave the blog world and fall out of touch for the whole 24 hours and sometimes, like this week, disappear into Facebook or elsewhere and there are no entries until I come back and backdate some and I don't even remember what happened and the rambling on like this happens.

Yeah, who cares, right?

I did drive to the further away fields for the first game of the Wednesday night league only to find the team we were supposed to play forfeited, which surely did not help the mood or anything else. So maybe we should just skip Wednesdays for a while (nyuk, nyuk, big joke). I stopped impulsively at KFC/LJS (food, you should be able to figure out the names) and got shicken and shrimp which was great taste-bud satisfaction and emotional comfort for a moment. I ate in the car because the place closed at 9pm and I got there at 8:58pm. Lonely, but yummy.

Hope you are having fun. :)

Cards and Food

The recent addition of playing cards three nights a week is making me fat. Massive dinner and hours of snacks while sitting is not an activity this body benefits from. So though the mind loves it, I must resist the snacking and eat fewer plates of the dinner. Stated, now do it. Yup. So the Tuesday night card party went well aside from the massive bloating. The pattern of not going to sleep before sunrise continued as did sleeping past noon, then wandering the web for a while. Tonight I shall attempt to change that cuz it's getting boring (read all about it, aye?).

Make your life as exciting as you want to. :)

Cruising

That is, cruising through the night on a good feeling and that is a good thing. After that great softball day there was a long night of words on and offline and then a long day of sleep on and offline and then another softball game and we rediscovered our winning ways as everybody hit (including me when they got me up to bat in the first inning which does not happen often since they bat me 12th... we won't mention the next two at bats though) and I pitched well against a very good team. Yay for us! :)

I had a hot dog craving on the way home so I stopped for food and stuffed my face with what is probably unhealthy meat and bread and grilled onions cuz I crave grilled onions from time to time. I crave knishes too lately and one of these days I will wake up and head out before the best deli in town closes (they are only open for breakfast and lunch) and get some knishes. Home writing again tonight and loving every minute of it.

The sun came out tonight :)

Sunday Softball and More Softball

Today was an excellent softball day. I hit very well and pitched lights out as we won our double header and I got to play and win in a third game because another team needed a sub. After the morning double header I watched other games and hung out until the afternoon game. After that the ratings committee met and there you have it, a wonderfully simple fun day out in the sunshine and fresh air.

What's up with you? :)

Saturday Softball and Saturday Night Bridge

A day of softball, a night of Bridge. We finished second in the Saturday tournament and it was not as much fun as it could have been because it was disorganized (one team forfeited due scheduling conflicts and our game was moved up an hour so I missed it and I played less than half of the tournament and hit poorly, though I pitched well). We finished second. After softball I headed to Excel and the Commodore's place for Bridge. I didn't need a shower because I didn't play much. Bridge was much fun. Dinner was interesting. That was the the day and night.

Fascinating, no doubt. there's always more, in case that's not enough. :)

Change of Plans

Just when I thought I had the day planned, I realized Friday softball was postponed until next week. So the afternoon and evening were free after lunch with jane. Lunch was at TooJays and while I usually love their food, it was disappointing. The white fish was dry. I didn't complain, it was edible, just dry. It was great catching up with Jane. Wish she didn't live an hour (or more) away. She headed home to makr papers (she's a professor) and I explored a bulk foods store she pointed out. Curly joined me as he doesn't live far from where Jane and I ate and we bought bulk foods and then bought more stuff and hush, stuff was needed. We had an extremely delicious Thai dinner at a place near his house and then I hung out at his place to play games. Excel and the Commodore came by for more games and we ended past 3am. A fun and yummy day and evening and night.

You? :)

Nights Are Days

The pattern is repeating, all night on the computer then sleeping through the mornings then on the computer into the afternoon and socializing in the evenings. My job ought to be searching for jobs on the computer, after all. Mostly I am distracting myself with he internet and rambling on. Another Thursday night cards at Excel and the Commodore's place with Curly. Back home and more computer distractions and then morning comes and sleep again. Feel free to come over and change this channel anytime. Still laughing at myself after all these years.

Ta da :)

Welcome to My Nightmare

Sometimes the details run off on their own and become so much more of an introduction to me and my wild and wonderful emotional roller coaster than just the dirt, drama, and details of the daily life. Hope it doesn't scare ya. :)

Today was the one of those days I live what retirement could be like if I gave into my aversion to human bullshit and left people alone. No conversation. If not for Jackson's texts and a couple of Words With Friends games with others, no human contact. Just my roller coaster ride of emotions and wowee kazowee (that's a technical psychological term), the emo-ride is hitting new extremes even now. Almost cried, played much Ruzzle, Bridge, Chess, and a couple of other games against the computer, ate the cheap food in the fridge, and truly experienced the poverty level living here. Also, I put on the sneakers and jogged a bit. The agony of the feet (and defeat) was overcome by the ecstacy of the exercise. Also, I moved into first place in the Ruzzle Weekly Tournament (oh what joy, aye?). All 'n all, a wonderful and slightly exhausting ride of emotions all by myself.

Just one more thing. Besides games and a jog I opened a few boxes to find first aid stuff to put together better first aid kits. The one in the car has paper tape and paper tape does not stick after sitting in a hot trunk. The dog in the front apartment (we'll call her Bob, friendly out-of-control Black Lab) caught my foot and left a big scratch. There's a whole lot tonight more dirt, drama, and details if you are brave enough :)

Just remember, you must remember this...

It's funda-mental :)

And Food

Food, friends, and fun is definitely a way out of the downbeat feelings and tonight it was no exception. I am so lucky that food is my friend, that my digestive system does it's job so well I don't even notice it and still eat anything I want most of the time. So today I moped a bit after waking but as the last entry notes, happiness prevailed as it always does in my mind. I actually jogged a bit, a breakthrough. I showered and headed out to play cards at Curly's and dinner was yummy stew-soup (soup too full of stuff to be just soup) and pizza. After cards fun I went shopping for some stuff I needed (wallet choked a little) and then home to browse the web via email and my tumblr and here we are falling asleep.

You know where to go for more, in case it matters :)

Games Win

Yes, the sorrow is gone and I am moving on. Woke groggy and blahs so I wah wah wahed a bit and played Ruzzle and Words with Friends and Bridge and the games spun me around and now, off to a hot shower and then to Curly's for food, fun, and friends.

Happy Birthday Jackson :)

Low Interest

Yes, well, lament wants to rule the day so there is not much to say here. Woke whenever, went to play softball, went 1 for 2, pitched ok, lost 17-8, errors, burned outfielders, Monday nights are still going downhill. Jackson couldn't make it to the fields, working late again. She's going on vacation at the end of the week so she is working her birthday (tomorrow) too. Sad I haven't seen her since we moved apart and likely won't see her for my birthday or her borthday or a while longer. BFFs are not what I thought they were, aye? :)

The smile is wistful. The night is here. I'll play games now.

Make your time fun :)

Sleep No More

Once again I stayed up all night and headed to softball in the morning. Once again, it was a great day and evening. Maybe I just need to stop sleeping. Anyway, we won 13-3 and I pitched lights out and hit well and then I did ratings committee observations and then ate hot dogs and sausages and then met Curly, Excel, and the Commodore at the food truck party and we set up a table and played games and I won those and then we went to Curly's to play cards and the Commodore and I won Spades and I finally lost a Hearts game to close the night. Felt just as good losing the hearts and winning the others which tells me that the brain was in just the right place for enjoying life. When it's the playing, not the outcome, that is fun... the brain has the right perspective.

Headed home and played a little more and fell asleep. Hope you did too :)

Alone Again, Naturally

Another Saturday Night, details to follow as usual. Going to bed well after sunrise I slept a mixed broken sleep for about five or six hours, waking to go play cards (only to find out they moved the time back so I could have slept more) and have dinner at Excel and the Commodore's place. Dinner was tacos and stuff, cards was Bridge and fun. I did much better than I thought by the end of the night because most of the night I was getting pretty poor hands. I actually won the night with over five thousand points. Yay, aye?

That's about it. Headed home and played some Words with Friends and Ruzzle (the brain has always been insatiable) and came here to write and now, if I can unwind enough, I shall attempt to sleep as I have a 9am game in the morning.

Hope you had fun tonight. I'm all ears (and eyes) :)

Again

A new pattern of falling asleep after dinner blah blah blah just like the night before has become the routine and waking after midnight I turned on some music to keep me company and ward off the constant buzz of lonliness that is like a swarm of invisible bugs trying to suffocate me these days (oh, the drama, aye?). Listening to Lenka and recalling the show (been in love with it for a long time) and the day. I woke mid-afternoon and Curly was outside getting his truck and some stuff from the garage and he picked up the tools he left here. After he left I went to the phone store and changed my plan to save money and phone shopped (didn't buy) and then spoke with Precious and Jane about paying me for their lines and found a newish seafood place for dinner (I know, foolish, but my taste buds help relieve stress and I resisted buying a new phone even though mine is ancient). I got home and fell asleep and woke a little while ago and that's the life, again.

You know where to find the details if you want more :)

Routine

Waking in the afternoon I recall indulging my taste buds and the world was foggy through the sugar coma today through the evening. A shower and drive to Excel and the Commodore's place for dinner and bridge. Dinner seems to be a part of the routine at these card gatherings and while I feel I should contribute more, they seem to understand my current lack of income and do not seem to want anything in return. Good people not counting who owes who what make for good friends and I am lucky I found them.

The sugar coma fog helped me make lots of mistakes but we had fun and I headed home to more of the same, distraction and sleep. Life is like that sometimes.

Happy New Year (beep) :)

Midnight Consessions

I finally got to sleep after taking a shower and nodding off in the chair a few times. It was an unexpected day of work around this place as Curly pushed himself to get here in the late afternoon after doing the work he had to do during the day. He's a good friend and knew I needed to get back to de-cluttering and the hold up was the unfinished worked left in limbo here. So the shower head is replaced by an old shower head I had that works good and the washing machine is connected and didn't leak on it's test run and the electric was started for the machine (until it's connected I will use a long extension cord) and it reallyy to receive that he did not know he was giving, or something like that. I give up me time, but get a lot of what I wanted. Reasonable consession.

You'll find more, as usual, in the usual place. The best I can do is continue de-stressing (which includes some avoidance, if you haven't noticed) and let the episode take it's course. You'd have to be here (and care to show me you really wanted to know) to understand more. Suffice to say I love you for caring.

Oh, there I went and got mushy. What happened to the professional brevity? Laugh and the whole world might too :)

Internet Reading

Again I spent most of the night wandering the web reading articles, napped from about 7am to about 8:45am, then woke to help Curly with more lawn/yard work. By the end of the day I was so exhausted I was in a euphoric stupor and napped for a couple of hours after showering at Curly's place. I don't recall how I did at cards, but I recall a lot of laughter, some yummy food and Code Red giggles, and much fun.

I got home as April 5th became April 6th and the best laid plans were neatly avoided with Facebook and the internet until I fell asleep (too many hours later) thinking I would come to myself whenever I woke and continue the dive into the depths I was due (and perhaps throw a party because dog gone it, somebody ought to, after all).

Maybe the details will make more sense (lol, right).

Make life fun :)

Pushing Limits

Helping Curly with yard work, lawns, and maintenance to the thirty or so properties he manages is no easy task and the physical labor is seriously testing the aging body, but it is, as much as I might grump, exactly what the doctor ordered (metaphor, I am not seeing any doctors these days) as the body needs the physical workouts. Today we did lawns and took down a tree. Moving that tree (in cut pieces) about forty feet from the house to the curb was my job. The upper body and arms were numb by the time we were done. I barely remember the rest of the day.

There was no softball game that evening and I think I crashed early, woke up after midnight, and distracted myself with Facebook some more. Sooner or later the layers of deception and dalliance helping me avoid whatever I am avoiding will likely be peeled away and we will get to the stuff underneath but for now, the dirt is mostly under the grass we are mowing. You are having fun, right? :)

checking in

I intend to catch up tonight, in case you are checking in daily and wondering where I wandered off to. Today was softball, two games, and surprisingly we won both big. I was seriously on and that helps a lot as I could control the game from the pitcher's mound. 9-2 in seven innines, 19-2 in four innings, we improved our record to 4 wins, 2 losses, though one of the loses is under protest until the ratings committee determins if the team that beat us 12-11 actually had too high a rating to be playing in D division. After the games I did my ratings committee duties and mostly sat alone, but enjoyed getting to know some new people. And then there was the sudden disappearance. Did you notice?

So what, aye? (oh, no, not the emo kid). Yeah, in case it matters, right. Sometimes I feel the frustration of caring in a world that doesn't care and I don't want to be here anymore, but I remain because somewhere deeper than the frustration (or hurt or loneliness or anything else) is this little voice reminding me that there's always hope and it's been that way since the earliest memories of creating me it was and is simple survival (don't forget, aye?) so yeah, whatever will be will be and I shall return. How about you?

See what you miss if you don't check in with the dirt, drama, and details?

Eleven Hours

That should be how much sleep I got and yet, I woke feeling like I could go back to sleep but I stayed awake to get ready for Saturday softball playoffs, but they were rained out (figures, right?). Curly came by for a bit and I showed him the plumbing needs (you can find details in the usual place) as the old fixtures are leaking and need replacing. Also found out the water heater is small and if the other tenants shower or do laundry, I must wait for hot water. I waited 90 minutes and took the first hot shower here, carefully, as the leaks squirt in inconvenient directions and the shower stall is small. After the shower I checked in here in the blog world, then headed to Excel and the Commodore's for another Bridge night. I actually won the night. Fast learner, I am. That accomplished I will stop looking at scores and enjoy playing even more.

That's the wrap for the day (in case it matters) and now, since I will be awake in five hours to play a double header in the Sunday softball league, I really must find a way to fall asleep. I am not tired, but I will lay down in the dark and see what happens. Are we having fun yet? :)

Baby Steps

What About Bob? Well, I definitely still must get to batting cages and start some serious exercise but I went 3 for 3 at Friday softball tonight and felt more there than I have in weeks so apparently the sleep helped a lot. During the day, I slept late and Curly came over about 2pm to work on the plumbing. I helped as much as I could. He was still working at 7:15pm when I had to leave for softball. He was done and home by the time the game was over so I went out to our usual Friday night place for food (yes, I spent money (shhhhh). So softball and dinner was fun :)

Falling asleep now, so maybe I will get a hot shower tomorrow (do not want to scrub the tiles and floor and test the pipes and fixtures tonight cuz I am not awake enough to deal with a potential problem).

To sleep, to dream, to wake refreshed :)

Wild About Harry

Well, in case it matters, I am just wild about Harry. I even made the formal announcement as if it is as imporant as my own daily life blogs being written right here before your eyes. Wow, huh? Well, maybe you had to be there. The fact is, if you love Harry Chapin songs the way I love Harry Chapin songs, we are 97% compatible. The other 3% might be deal breakers, but it is worth a shot. Harry words. Harry music. Harry songs. I see them, feel them, touch them, and heal them (yeah, free). I consume them, resume them, embody them, experience them. I bring them, give them, sing them, and live them. Encourage me just a little and you can listen (or be part of them) all night. I must be an April Fool :)

So I didn't sleep tonight because I let Dance Band on the Titanic in. The story songs compelled me to sing along and it is challenging to sleep and sing at the same time. Besides, who would want to miss the joyous tears singing his songs inspires. The actor in me woke and played the parts and the audience in me said wow once again. I love Harry music. Wish he was still here today. Wish someone would experience them with me.

Yeah, so last night, I didn't get to sleep at all.

Fun Evenings, Restless Days, Lonely Nights

Which could just as easily be Fun Evenings, Lonely Days, Restless Nights but that's all in the linked DDD if you know what I mean (and if you don't read about the blog in the information section on the right). Meanwhile, in the real world, in case it matters, today was busy with a lot of driving to three corners of the metropilitan area. I drove Curly and his mom around, then drove to Excel and the commodore's place for our now regular Thursday Night Bridge game, then drove curly home and drove myself back here.

It was nice to get to know Curly's mom a little better on the drive and it was fun playing bridge. I did very well for my third lesson. Excel bought dinner and desserts we all cooked it and it was yummy all around. Back here now and more awake than I'd like due to the Code Red Excel buys for me. I must draw some will power and use it next time or I will blow up and that is not good for the body. Still, much fun was had by all.

Hope your night was fun too :)