Almost LOL

Oh come on, I lol somewhere in almost every post I write, even if I am the only know who hears or knows (Am I that tree falling in the forest so many philosophers have pondered?) Look, here's proof that my obsessive madness (such as it is) continues to amuse me without any external stimuli or justification or rational thought or reason or rhyme. Well, maybe there is some rhyme, there's always hope in rhyme, in case you didn't know. So I drank yet another protein drink, an 80 calorie apple watermelon drink, which makes 480 calories for today. Yesterday I believe I was just over 500 and the day before I believe I was at 400. Am I crazy or what? Who cares, right? Like anybody is paying attention? I suppose a few might be sad or sorry when I'm gone, for a moment, maybe. Those closest to me live their lives without any real interest in mine. Whatever I do to create this odd lonely reality that constantly proves to me that humans can not be trusted and don't really care about anything being themselves is working way too well. See what rejection at birth can do to a child? Whatever, you may never fully understand, and quite often I pretend I don't, forgetting my awareness, or at least appearing to... sometimes I even fool myself so well, it's scary. The secrets are everywhere, exposed for anyone who cares to see. Threaded through many thousands of blogs.

Five or six hours sleep tonight. The eyes can barely focus. Stay the course, maintain the will power, ignore the pains, full speed ahead. I'm right here waiting, as usual. Naturally, even.

Narf :)