Curmudgeon

I am one. I think. Self-assessment is ridiculous at times, so I don't accept my own judgment 100%, but I am, more and more, fitting the profile. Curmudgeon. On the other hand, when people are not insensitive, cruel, stupid, or rude around me, I am still the happiest most giving person I've ever known. I sense that few people see how happy I am inside. I think that is because they are so unaware of so much and so wrapped up in themselves. I watch people, waiting for them to notice something beyond their immediate (and often selfish) perspectives. I have come to a point where I do not expect anyone to do it, so maybe that is a self-fulfilling prophesy now. It is very disappointing, because I was always so hopeful for humanity, for evolution, for awareness... and sensitivity, for love and caring and sharing being in peaceful bliss. Hope has waned a lot, alas, but still, I want to share completely open honesty in full awareness and infinite sensitivity no matter the costs (pain comes with infinite sensitivity an full awareness, and that may be what scares people away from it... and me). So what am I?

Understanding only comes when one experiences it. It is beyond explanation.

I am so tired of not being understood...

In case it matters.

Narf :)