Shutting Down

It is sometimes the only way for me to get healthier as food is my primary social connection. Reaching out to people seems to always involved food and I really want to cut the calories to a minimum for as long as the body can take it. This is the third day under 500 calories and while the muscles ache because they are not healing as fast from the softball and aging and low food intake, I am motivated to drop the 20 pounds I put on the past few months and nobody in my personal life today cares to support or motivate such an action so I withdraw from sharing and focus on me. I hope all is well with people who may also be shutting down, but I am tired of reaching out and getting little or no response other than meeting for meals. This makes not eating even more challenging since food is my emotional crutch, especially when I am feeling lonely and unloved, but self-discipline is where my primary focus must be for this week, at least. Feel free to care, I'd love some caring. I will repeat this as a mantra as long as I can.

Then this. And laughter. In case it matters.

Narf :)