Life is Pretend

Can you remember what never was? Maybe if you try sometimes, you just might find... you get what you need. It's only the end if you let it be the end. Words of wisdom can be wrong too. It's all a matter of perspective. In life today, for me, no one knows how I feel. Am I in pain? Am I sad? Am I hungry or tired or stressed or fearful or hearing whippoorwills? We all could die at anytime, would anyone know? The people who care about me most might not know for weeks. Is that caring? Really? The people who care about me most have never seen where I live, or how I live, and none really know why I live or what makes me tic. Does anybody really know what time it is? You've got the dig for it. Can you dig it? Do you know when I am laughing? Do you know it is most of the time, especially when I write. I usually laugh at the words just before the Narf and at the Narf, in case it matters. You might know if you knew me, if you looked close, but I am a subtle fish. I don't advertise. I play with words and that amuses me no matter what is going on around me. Usually. Mostly I am just laughing on the inside at the pretend. I pretend the world is alright. I pretend everything will be alright. Because it is on the inside. When you wake up you will find that you're not where you left yourself.

I love where I am inside.

Meanwhile, in the outside world. Softball follies tonight and I was replaced after the second inning because a dozen errors gave up a dozen runs. Another dozen runs later, with fewer errors and me on the bench, and we lost. Sucks to be the scapegoat for a team without defense. Long day of taking care of business not planned, other people's needs, a wonky new computer needed tech support for another hour and still there is more that is needed to get it right. No food, one 100 calories protein drink, no real hunger, controlled emo, gonna sleep on it. Water under the bridge as I smile at the world unfolding before me when I close my eyes.

Still wishing for sharing, caring, and understanding. I'd settle for someone who listens.

Hear the music?...     Who am I?...     I am nobody.

Are you listening?

Narf :)