Football Saturday

Usually it is softball, as a player, but softball is on hiatus so it is football, as a spectator. CBS has two games today, so I get to watch one (and head out to the party Sarducci's is throwing tonight). Watching football on TV and wandering the web, that's the day. There's plenty more to read about, as usual, in the babbling blog. I still didn't do the shopping and I need at least one gift for tonight so I am heading out to the mall now. It is open for two more hours. Hope you have a Happy New Year - May 2018 be the best one yet.

Narf :)

Twas The Morning Before

The last morning of 2017 and I am going back to sleep. I'll likely be up quite late tonight, so it is a rational decision. Justified by the communal celebration of turning a page on the cultural calendar. Actually, we toss one calendar and buy another, but it's the thought that counts. I am enjoying time for myself, me time, in spite of the living environment and state of humanity and loneliness, I am having fun in my head. It is much easier to do after I vent all the negative energy all around me in this world.

Hope you find a good way to cope too :)

Narf :)

Smelling Fishy

Returning from dinner at the lobster feast. An all-you-can-eat seafood buffet that is packed with tourists most nights because for $48 there is all the lobster and snow crab and dozens of other seafood and other foods to eat. They used to have fantastic desserts too, but they cut corners on that in recent years. They typically overcook the lobsters, which I think are steamed. The crabs are better in my opinion, but they vary in quality. The place is all about quantity, not quality, but it is a treat just the same. In spite of washing twice, I still smell fishy.

Hope you enjoyed your dinner too.

Narf :)

Been Babbling

Not much else. I do need to get into the shower soon as I have dinner plans with Helen, the lobster feast - a favorite seafood place in the tourist zone. I need to do some shopping before tomorrow night too. Four gifts to buy as I was asked to participate in gift exchanges. I find it challenging to buy relatively inexpensive gift for people I do not know well. It was easier for Jackson, I made her tell me what she wanted lol. We don't exchange gifts anymore. Family was an illusion in my head, alas. Like all the other kids I've adopted along the way. Money can't buy you love, but it sure can pay a roommate's rent so someone is around and they are friends while they live there. Anyway, I have a gift to get for a stocking stuffer exchange for a party tomorrow night. Sent three texts asking her friends what she likes. One responded saying a gift card. Do people even give meaningful personalized gifts anymore?

So I've been in the babbling blog lately with the TV on in the background.

Feel free to let me know what you've been doing.

Narf :)

Of Course I Should Be Sleeping (again and again)

Watching The Outer Limits second edition (95-02) and held my nose through the first five or six episodes until the holier than thou preaching toned down a bit for the episodes to become decent background distraction and then the body wanted more, more food, more play, more touching, more feeling, more loving, more attention and the mind just wouldn't stop wishing and hoping and dreaming and believing...

You still awake too?

Narf :)

A Walk In Other Parks

That was the day, this time walking the parks east of my office. Not as many as yesterday because I spent more time in the parks today because they are farther apart on the east side and they are bigger because it's more wilderness. Lunch was convenience store roller food (if you don't know what convenience store roller food is, you haven't lived... or something like that). Back here after work and Hulu as usual, or closed, in the bedroom, Eb out there in the living room playing his video game. That's life, at least here in the brief daily blog.

You know where to find more. Hope you do. Hope it's good for you too :)

Narf ;)

A Walk In The Park

So I sat down at my desk, checked email, took care of several thing, and by 10:00 AM was on my way out the door. Fifteen parks and facilities later, I drove back to the office. I walked a few miles today, at least. I inspected and photographed and and smiled at the children and everyone I met along the way. I met Helen for lunch at an Indian restaurant. They had a lunch buffet. Not bad, but skimpy on substance. I love sauces and naan so ll was well.

So how awas your day?

Narf :)

It's Ok

It's ok if I just lose my mind. It's not as if anyone thinks I'm any sort of find. I know the world can be unkind. People choose to be so blind. Always trying to rewind or unwind. Afraid to admit that before they even started, they resigned. Listening to some old favorite songs, my way of hanging on to myself. I don't care how lost I get, but I do keep a lifeline attached. A lifeline of music. A lifeline of words. A lifeline of songs. Just in case it matters. just in case someone might someday come along and want to find me.

I really should be sleeping now...

Narf :)

Too Much Routine

Another day at the desk. More work done, important work, but I really need a break from the desk routine so I think I will head out to some parks tomorrow. I went shopping down the main street here in this little town trying to find a frog and a picture frame and nothing. I'm late getting presents for they girls at work. I suck at this holiday stuff. So I will try to find something tomorrow. Then, here again to eat canned food. The leftover beans and onions and Nathan's hot dogs. I know, decadent, perhaps even a waste, to slice up Nathan's into beans. Like putting filet mignon into stew. I've done that too. Belly stuffed, still hungry. Then, catching up on CBS shows. No tears tonight, which is odd because the NCIS shows usually brought them most. Not the new cast, I suppose. That's the day that was. Evening too.

You can share yours anytime now, ya know?

Narf :)

Relaxing Day

I reached out to friends but nobody wanted to go out to find food so I overcame some obstacles and cooked some pizza here. During the day I did five or six loads of laundry. I have two more, but I stopped so Eb could do a load and he never took his clothes out of the washer, as usual. He really doesn't know how to share space. I should respond to the roommate dot com mails. I just need to have my head clear and that's tough during this holiday season. I'm just so hesitant about trusting these days. Maybe it's a devil you know kind of thing.

Laundry, food, and internet TV. You?

A relaxing day.

Narf :)

And so... Yeah?

And what have we done, no doubt. Well, I did my reminiscing (as superficial as it was) when it was supposed to happen, on my NYD (new year's day), but since I am sitting here alone feeling the various vibs of the world (war and peace, heavy on the war) I shall simply report, as it is the purpose of this brief daily life blog in spite of the tendency to open with a paragraph of rambling like this lately. Are we at all amused?

Sitting here typing, that's what I am doing. The third loat of laundry is spinning around and there are at least four more loads before I consider myself caught up on laundry. I've taken to using three (sometimes four or five) times the recommended detergent because the packets simply do not show signs of any soap in the water when I check (and with reverence to Deep Purple, there should be some soap on the water during the wash cycle. I always double rinse, in case it matters. Eb is cooking a roast so he's got the kitchen tied up so I am not sure what I will eat. Cans dumped into a bowl heated in the microwave, no doubt. Unless I order in, but then, is there anywhere open today?

In case you are in the midst of wondrous celebratory festivities with families and loved ones, wonderful, may all your hopes and wishes become reality and fun :)

Narf :)

Merry Happy

The party was fun, as usual. For many years now on the eve of December 25th a group of us gather at the home of a friend for a Swedish Yule celebration for a couple or few dozen people (some years more, some years less) who do not have family in town r at all and who enjoy meeting at least once a year for good conversation and food. Once again it was intellectually stimulating and quite yummy.

Once again my own odd perspective (at least by this culture's standards) plays out here for all to see, applaud or boo, and judge as you wish. You go your way and I go mine, as you wish. I spent the day writing and watching James Bond films. I arrive back here tonight and we are up to On Her Majesty's Secret Service. I hope you are enjoying your time wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whomever you are with.

Much love to all, and to all, good night.

Narf :)

Though The Day

I don't know how profound it might have been, but watching something on Hulu kept me awake last night (sure, blame it on Hulu) and somewhere along the way more writing continues and I don't think it had any details about the actual activities of daily (or nightly) life in it, but whatever, another entry... another bottle tossed into the cyber seas... ultimately, proof there is still hope alive somewhere inside of me that I might find someone to share some life with. Today I spent some time doing this. And wandering Facebook just a bit. No messages, no new invites, lots of notifications. People seem to prefer to communicate through general postings on their wall instead of direct personal contact. I think that diminishes the quality of life, but hey I've always been different.

So what was your day like?

Narf :)

Into The Night

What if the connection to the one I seek passes through my field of vision in the middle of the night? The middle of the night is the time I want to share with her most, after all. Far from the rush-around madness time of day when nobody lets their truest feeling show because the cut-throat fight for the holy dollar is the most important thing on everyone's mind - the fight for physical survival happens during the day. Emotional survival belongs to the night and unfortunately, most people sleep right through it.

I don't.

Narf.

Party Friday

Right here, just me, loving every minute of it and soon. Not soon, so on. And so on. Another fine work day and everybody went home early, even my boss. I stayed until after five. I was finishing something and the computer was crappy and tech support took over the computer and it crash and I stayed to recover my files and finish and that's just the way I work. The party was food, as usual. You can read all the details, menu, and recipes in the usual place. The last few episode of dead like me and then, the party got to kicking with Airplane!. Wish you were here, especially if you were into a party. And me. And so on.

Narf :)

Ready For Sleep

Still wide awake. Nodding off in the physical world, but still wide awae somewhere inside. It's a cosmic experience everyone should try once in a while.

So today was another day. I left my desk for a few hours, amazing, I know. I just realized dead like me uses lower case letters like I used to. No wonder I relate. I did some shopping after a morning meeting at another site. Same foods. The past couple of days I've been on a chili kick. Canned chili. Canned food used to disgust me. Financial hardships change taste buds too. After work i was back to dead like me, as you might have guessed. I confirmed Friday softball. Lonely, enjoying the limited life I live these days, but lonely.

In case it matters.

Narf :)

Long Live Distractions

The processing continues. alone. Te grieving is part of the process, a process within the process. I skip past denial quickly on the surface, but never really leave it even though I do wander through all the stages in my own way, it's hope that keeps me there, endless incorrigible hope. I'm hopelessly hopeful. I survive every time and somehow keep believing someone will come along and love me... and stay. As I said, long live distractions.

Another long day at the desk, more accomplished, some distractions with Excel. No lunch, again. Back here to a big bowl of canned pasta and chili without beans, extra cheese, the usual condiments. And Dead Like Me Hours and hours of Dead Like Me. Ellen Muth and Cynthia Gibb ad Mandy and the rest, a show I can relate to on so many levels. Deeply too. So I watched the screen and babbled and wandered and processed and it's after midnight (yes, it is). Hope you are well and all that.

Narf :)

Another Day (for the umteenth time)

Actually, a lot more than umteenth, in fact, a lot more than umpteenth, even. Into the five figures or something like that. Are you in the five figures? What a strange way to ask what must be one of the most frequently asked questions in our cultures, how old are you?, aye? A/S/L? Sheesh, who remembers? Not that I am interested in your age. Age maybe be the single most abusive prejudice we have in our culture today. We literally let people waste away and die unloved, uncared for, alone all the time in this culture just because they've lived too long for our patience. There was a time when age meant something powerful, profound, revered. Now, age is a curse like the plague and most people avoid it... like a plague.

Work, as usual, at the desk all day, ten straight hours except for a meeting with HR about giving me a few hours to do safety training at orientation. Tomorrow morning I am going to get out of the office a little. I left my office after 6:00 PM and shopped a bit then home to eat more canned pasta. How I slipped back on this pasta kick, whatever. Watching Dead Like Me now.

So how was your day?

Narf :)

Dumping Nothing

Another work day at the desk, another night floating through silent spaces, processing takes it's own sweet or sour or bitter even, time. No internet for the moment, so watching TV elsewhere, in case it matters.

The brain and body need sleep.

Narf.

Working Through Changes

Sending love to the universe, hoping some falls on friends far away. This is all I have left for now, these words for all of you. My messages in bottles inspired only within my mind. My imaginary friends, I love you all so very much. Losing a friend sucks, but losing self sucks even more. It hurts. losing words hurts too. I remember reading the cryptic diaries and blogs and sometimes found them so alluring, but I think that was mostly my own overwhelming desire to share, to relate, to understand, and to make contact with the writer somehow. Some of you may understand. Loneliness does strange things to the mind, giving all sorts of distortions and wishes to perception and perspective.

I paid for the roommate website again tonight. I really should have laid down and slept, but I searched and searched and sent out a lot of messages instead. More messages in bottles. More people I will eventually drive away somehow. But I've got it all figured out, so maybe...

A Happy Sad

Today was a restful day here writing, processing, and watching sports on TV. You can read about it here. It is a happy sad. I enjoyed myself and expressed myself (which feels good and rewarding) and amused myself and exercised my heart and mind (not so much physically, but I am tired and didn't sleep last night and went to softball practice this morning only to find out it was cancelled). The sad is the loneliness. No one with whom to share the fun I had today. Not even on the phone or text or here online. Sigh. But I did have fun, so it is a happy sad.

How about you?

Narf :)

Sleepless Again

Another Saturday night and the after party is in my head all night long and I head to softball practice in the morning only to find it was cancelled and I did not find that message among thirty or more messages in four or five group message chains that started as at least two. Textual confusion. Long drive there and back, more than two hours that could have been for sleep or writing or... alas, more food. The details are where you find them. Dinner was yummy, the party was small but fun, and only three of the eight people in attendance people fell asleep before 11 PM. Look around the written gardens and you'll see I continued.. in spite of the distractions and profound changes. Plowing through to keep up with the flow, doing my best to stay in touch... where are we now?

Missing you...

Narf...

Microsoft Sucks (Episode Whatever)

You can read about it here, but the damned Microsoft Corporation did their damnedest to ruin my night once again and while the jury is still out on their success in that endeavor, they completely succeeded in taking over my time and computer for more than an hour and completely succeeded in altering the stream of my consciousness and completely fucked and completely failed showing any customer service or common sense.

My next computer will be an Apple.

Other than that, it was a wonderful day and evening and night. Yummy food, fun and games, and productive writing. You can read a lot more about that in the usual place. As for the good narfing and dreams (and what dreams may come), well, perhaps the universe really didn't want me to go back there... or perhaps it was and is just still testing me.

Someday we'll all understand.

Narf :)

Good Narfing?

Good Narfing, Yeah. Nothing to do it's up to you... yeah yeah yeah, not really. Waking up foggy with Beatles on my mind and two texts either help or lead me back to where I once belonged, longing for family. Helen cancelled birthday lunch with her mom and instead we will do dinner at the crazy buffet, one of the best in the area... and Jackson sent a picture of Happiness out of the blue at 7 this morning and I wonder if that is why I went to the bathroom at around that time, but anyway I fell back to sleep and just woke... foggy with Beatles on my mind and that longing. Always that longing deep down, always that sadness deep down, so much fun it is to be me and play and love life as I do, few know of that longing, but it's always there deep down.

In case it matters.

Narf :)

Welcome Back (Not Kotter)

Yeah, I am watching a lot of TV lately, finished the first season of Dirk and moved on to new episodes of The Gifted and Blindspot while eating chicken and soup with some mayo in the soup sauce. The day was a work Friday full of more desk work and cake, lots of cake. It figures I go counting page views for the first time in ages n the day you don't stop by. We must be mind melding somewhere, but be that as it may be or not to be, the day sizzled with excitement. For someone, somewhere, it sizzled with excitement. My belly full but me hungry, and not for food. Would you like to swing on a star?

Naturally, I am referring you to the babbling entry now if you want more. Not much to say, but it's ok.

Good Narfing, good narfing, Narf.

Just One What?

Just one view of the last entry. After an average of four or five views for each previous entry for a very long time, which lead to the opening of the previous entry wondering who you are aptly entitles Who Are You? and sure enough, you've all run away. All few of you. All except one. Unless that was me. Right. So anyway, whatever.

I really really really do want to who you are.

Today was a wonderful ordinary day of work at work. Except we had the first evacuation exercise in several years and it went off without a hitch. Almost. Everyone was very pleased, or so they said. Thanks you's came from all over the building for my organization and training that saved them all from the imaginary fire. Then... more paperwork. I'm almost done with some of it. Exciting, right? Lunch was leftovers from yesterday's party including decadent cake. Arriving home, I promptly was hungry in spite of a full buldging belly and all the food and calories put in this body today. I ate a can of vegetable soup without the potatoes and some chocolate. Watching the last episode of Hicthhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, TV version. Six by Nine. Get it?

Hope you are having fun in your life to.

Whomever you are.

Narf :)

Who Are You?

It matters, really, it matters to me. Someone (or two, even) visit here from time to time (or daily, even) and I wish I could hug you and kiss ou and take you home and call you George. If that cartoon reference did not amuse, well, I still want to know who you are and you matter to me very very much more than I can express in words. Even if I wasn't still watching our Hitchhiking heroes dine at the restaurant at the end of the universe, I'd still really love to know who you are and appreciate you even beyond the end of the next universe.

In case it matters, my day was interesting. Some email conversations in the early morning and then walking the building for two hour talking to the evacuation monitors to see if they felt ready for tomorrow's evacuation exercise and most said they were quite ready. Ironically, the monitors in my hallways did not even read the emails I'd been sending out for months. By then it was time for the department holiday party which was catered by Chipotle (which was a disappointment because they said it was to be Fuel which is some of the best barbecue in the area) which was fun. After that I sent two hours resolving the confusion for the evacuation monitors in my own hallway. Then, final check of email and here we are.

Sleepy, but happy. Lonely, but happy. I may nod off before babbling tonight, but happy.

I hope you are finding some worth here, whomever you are.

Than you so very very very... much.

Narf :)

Next Day

Yes, this is the next day. The day after yesterday, which seems to be happening a lot lately. Today was another wonderful day. All desk work, but a lot accomplished. This is a busy week. Getting home after hours again, I showered finally. The 60 degree temperatures inside (and 40 degress outside) make showering more challenging than it should be, but the body needs it so it is done. Food came next, then Hulu and SNL, then more food, all the while writing this mess. The laptop is acting up, like running out of memory freezing. It' a very recent phenomenon and getting worse. I'm running the virus scan now.

So I'll watch more SNL.

Narf :)

It Is The Next Day

The day after yesterday, that is. Always tomorrow, always today, always the day after yesterday. The ever changing constancy is so soothing, is it not? Today I ate lunch. It was a desk day at work, much desk work accomplished, and I ate oatmeal, prunes, and yogurt. Leaving work, I was all set to not be hungry enough to pig out and I arrived to find the thermostat set for 62 degrees which made me want soup and hot asta. So I made onion soup with cheddar cheese soup and some golden mushroom soup along with seven or eight hot dogs, some mozzarella cheese, a bit of butter, and ketchup. Ridiculous, I know. Some TV, Big Bang, Young Sheldon, Orville and then, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the TV show. Amazing I know. In case it matters, you really are missing out on a wonderful life. Hope yours is good too.

Narf :)

Winter

Earlier than usual, the temperature actually hit 35 degrees this morning and there I was playing softball in three layers of sports clothing. I know, many of you consider 35 degrees a heat wave, but when the average daily temperature year round is over 70 degrees, 39 degrees is cold for outdoor sports that require fine motor skills and tonight looks lie a repeat performance by the north winds.

It was a wonderful day in spite of my lack of sleep. Fun exercise and then, lunch with Tinman and then, conversation, setting up his TV antenna, accidentally resetting his kodi box therein losing all the channels and settings and work our friend ... did to set it up, watched a really terrible episode of a Star Trek remake I don't think I ever knew existed, and then arrived back here in zombie-like fashion just to write this bit of synopsis for you cuz you are that special.

Hope you had fun too.

Narf :)

40 Degrees

That is the temperature outside which is wonderful for those who miss the northern winters and not frigid for anyone who lives in the north, but it is cold for those of us who have lived in the south almost three decades and who moved down here because we were tired of the north winds and winter. Still, a few days of this is invigorating. Now if there was just a place to warm up, it wouldn't be half bad. The thermostat here is set for 63 degrees. Yes, so the air coming out of the ducts is 63 degrees. If it was hot out, that would still be chilly for indoors. So I sit here in 63 degree weather clothing and dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

Tonight was fun. After writing much of the morning and afternoon, I headed out and first fixed Helen's shower and chatted with her for about an hour and then headed to -- party where there was fattening food so thank goodness I did not eat anything today because the bloat from last night's pig-out was still hanging around my waist. So many obese people in one place, but not everyone. It was a fun night, though Sarducci was oddly aggressive in his mockery tonight which put a damper on things for some of us. After the party I updated Facebook pages instead of sleeping (no blanket or comforter helped) and here we are. Softball in an hour so no sleep tonight. What am I seventeen? lol lam...

Narf :)

Seriously Good Morning :)

Seriously, Good Morning... I hope this day finds you well. I woke in a wonderful mood with surprising clarity and spent a couple or few hours writing a letter to J that turned into an even more rambling bit of rhetorical reflection on myself and many other subjects. The phone rang twice and I talked and made plans. The body provided some pain as it does daily once again proving the doctors are wrong and the usual loneliness hovers all around, but that's not diminishing the wonderful feeling of being awake and alive. A cold front is moving in and I am loving that too. Soon I shall head out to play and party and I hope you find your day as full of smiles as I am right now.

You can do it!

Narf :)

Lost Title

Not a lost day, but almost because I got back here after work and ate and felt sleepy and nodded off and so I laid down and somehow found myself still watching TV after midnight so somehow I laid there for almost six hours after nodding off in the chair. It was very strange but not penny lane). Laughter abounds somewhere.

Both days were productive at work, as usual. This week has not followed the low calorie diet instructions, however reduced calories, perhaps, and all canned food which helps the pocket book. Not the best for the health though. That's just the way it is.

In case it matters.

Narf.

Another Early Morning

So I woke 4:30 AM to head into work early because the power company was doing a load test at 5:00 AM and we've had generator issues at this building. This building houses the County Manager, the County Commissioners, the County Attorney, and offices for the Tax Collector, Clerk of Courts, Health Department, Property Appraiser, Building Inspectors, Human Resources, and more big wigs for the county than you can count on ten hands, so the fact that two of the three generators failed during the last power outage a few weeks ago rocked many boats in this county government. While that is not my responsibility, I am here to reassure people that safety will be monitored even when it is way over my head.

As the test continues, I figured I'd stop in here to say hello since nobody will be here for another few hours and I don't want to become accustomed to working 13+ hour days too often. Me time is important, as if all the years I gave it up didn't teach me that already. So I wish you a happy morning and a smile when you wake. Make it a great day.

Narf :)

Last Night

Caved into taste buds and made pasta. Twice. Second time with cheese. Ok, so it was cheddar cheese soup which is a lot less calories than real cheese, but still. Way more calories than a weeknight should have provided this body. Slip sliding away. In case it matters. I know it matters to a few of you. A couple, at least. What about Mila Kunis? Huh? Yeah, I thought so. Where are all the mysterious mischievous dark sultry innocent brilliantly intuitive amazingly intelligent psychic magical optimally fit adorable girls in my life?

Rhetorical questions come cheap. So what else is new?

Another fine day at the office. I have a lot to do in preparation for the evacuation drill scheduled for a week from two days from now. Setting up of the emergency alert system that they won't give me enough control over to use properly and finalizing documents that should have been approved when I first submitted them six months ago but they sat on desks and now I have the luxury of updating again with more knowledge of the government. They don't seem to mind things not done on time, or in some cases, at all. Gotta love government work.

Watched TV. Time for sleep. So will you come over and tuck me in?

Narf :)

Almost Went Out

I just fell in love with Sarah Silverman. It was building up as I was watching her first three shows and then, somebody broke her. I'll probably write more about that, but this is the brief one. So I worked as I often do o Mondays and they day was another fine work day. Progress at the desk in the morning and then off to take care of other things, the car to the shop, a meeting reviewing the emergencies and preparation for the next emergencies, washing the pool car because it was filthy, then back to the office to catch up on email and a few other things. Then, dinner (several cans, of course). I almost went to dinner with friends but tonight is a low calorie night and dinner would have been higher calorie. So I stayed home and rested. Watched Hulu TV. You may have gotten that out of the first line. Did you ever wonder where intelligence went?

But what I really want to know is... who's the statue?

Narf :)

Waking in the Evening

I may have fallen back asleep on a more comfortable bed without an itchy rash in a clean and silent space, but I didn't and so I got out of bed and took another quick shower with water not hot enough to do what I need it to do and ten powdered and sat to write a letter to J and then watch some TV. MacGyver is so stupidly (and pretentiously) melodramatic and obviously predictable. Anyway, watching the mediocre TV fare and then, more food found it's way into my mouth. Four cans. Bad move. Alas, start again in the morning.

How about you?

Narf.

Plans Change in Moments

So I was going to finish doing laundry today but after softball practice (which went as well as practices go with players with limited skills) and stopping at the supermarket (tried a new location, wow, rich people pay as much as really poor people), I arrived back here to find Eb returned from his weekend away early. He was sitting a foot away from the 50+ inch TV playing the video game again. I cooked and ate and turned on the football that CBS was telecasting and now... falling asleep.

Narf :)

Still At It

Laundry, writing, listening to TV (it's on in the other room), and communicating with various entities on the internet. I know I should be sleeping, but I want to get more laundry done. I still have a load in the washer, a load in the dryer, a load of work pants and a load of bedding to wash. I will leave the work pants for tomorrow because I don't want them sitting in the washer or dryer and I will likely fall asleep before they are done. I will leave the bedding for tomorrow because I want to sleep on it before it would be done. I may leave the two loads washing and drying right now in the washer and dryer, which might mean washing and drying them again tomorrow if they smell mildewing and/or are wrinkled, which is very possible. These are the trials and tribulations of doing laundry here. Exciting, isn't it?

Softball in the morning, I really must sleep. But I want to share.

So how is your night?

Narf :)

Saturday Night Laundry

That's right, I am doing laundry. Eb is away for the weekend and I am taking advantage of the privacy sitting here as I prefer to be, nude, listening to a college football game and typing these words. Dinner was delicious. Besides laundry which is a work in progress. I sent in my LEX listings and am seriously excited. I believe I overwhelmed the people who wrote me from pen pal world but I shall never give up, never surrender.

Anyway, UCF! UCF! UCF! lol lam lolol :)

Ohio State too :)T

Two softball games were both fun and I pitched really well and went 8 for 8 with two walks. Great day for me personally, even though we lost. Dinner was delicious. I have softball in the morning, 8:00 AM almost an hour away, so I must get some sleep soon. You can read more about my adventures (and misadventures... oh, but how I wish I had a miss adventure, aye?) in the other blog where babbling is increasing again.

You've been warned lol lam...

Narf :)

Simply Settling

In so many ways, if it matters (I keep wondering... and thank Z and J for the reassurances so the answer is not nil... nil is the loneliest number, no matter what other songs say), settling. Mostly simply, but definitely settling. The digesting system settles daily and this is a good thing, for if the consistency was not as it is, the other maladies would be worse. see a doctor before the new year while it's still free, m'ok (so I won't call you {meaning me, in case you are not noticing that I write to myself now and then} a complete idiot). Two softball games, with appreciation from a team who never won a game but scored more runs with some help today than they have all season, then dinner. One of the buffets moved which threw Helen for a loop (she does not like change), but we parked and I drove so she was ok. Excellent food and service, we can only hope it maintains high standards and does not go the route of every other buffet after a few months. After dinner, here we are.

Previous entries hold more mystery and secrets, but none had such good tastes :)

Narf :)

Days Move Along

Waking Wondering aside, I slept in after faling asleep with Elementary on. The two main characters sooth me in some deep ways. The isolated critical thinker and the stoic empath make for such a desirable paring, for me at least. I am both, more one than the other at times, but still, two different loners keeping each other company in this life has always been a hopeful dream for me in my loneliness.

So waking 10:00 AM and laying in bed falling back to sleep and waking several more times, remembering deep dreams vaguely, feeling more tired and more refreshed each time, finally getting out of bed near 1:00 PM to empty the by-products of life in this body and then shower... writing, waking up wanting to write. That is a wonderful feeling and very positive sign of life. Look around, the words are out there.

Maybe I ought to re-birth the running table of contents... in case it matters.

Running, yes, that too.

Narf :)

I Wonder What Matters

I know it matters, from the illusions to the delusions (there's a link for that but I will find it another time), everything matters.

I wonder what matters to you.

December

It was always a different month, December, even before it was named December, it was a different time of year, even before there were years... oh, how the philosophers giggle and sing. It was a day like many other days, mostly desk work because there is so much paper to process and data to enter when monitoring people and processes for safety. So many spreadsheets to crunch and reports to review and summarize in other brief reports because the higher you get in an organization, the less you want to read, the less time you actually want to put into any task on the premise that you have so many more tasks to review and monitor and make decisions about... the higher you go, the less you do.

Still, there is a purpose for leaders and for leadership (besides sophomoric incendiary tweeting, decision making is a solitary task at times. Having experienced the top administrative level as well as the grunt work that actually gets jobs done, I am happy settled in the middle now. Financially crunched more than ever before, but if I can save $10,000 a year, I might not end up on the streets in the end (still say I will, but then, that depends on who I spend the end with, if anyone... alone, the streets are the most economical way to live and barring some unplanned influx of wealth, I have lived this life as a refugee and shall rest easy knowing I gae it all away, or at least as much as I could).

In case it matters.

The evening included a run to a bank to pay rent and the usual bodily functions and daily living tasks which of course includes eating. Unfortunately, I pushed well over a thousand calories into me last night, including simple carbs and meat fats, so the renewed health diet crashed somewhat on the fifth day and tomorrow dinner plans will make it challenging to continue, however I am sensing a desire to feel closer to physically optimal again (as optimal as it gets in this aging and ill body), so there is hope.

There is always hope.

Narf :)