Challenges of Age

Age brings a lot of changes, but perhaps the most challenging is impending death for those who fear death. For me, and those like me who live in the moment and accept death as an inevitable moment sometime in the future that is not only ultimately unpreventable (at least as far as our science knows today), and an unknown that may or may not have any conscious awareness, so why waste time, energy, or any moments on a future moment anyway, whatever, yea yea yea. You may notice the rambling meandering. Distractions. The most challenging aspect and effect (or affect) of aging is the neediness, the deterioration of the physical body that requires much more time and often a lot of assistance. Aging animals present that challenge and that has been the focus of my energy and attention for the past 24 hours. This is the first time I am sitting without rubbing, cuddling, petting, or physically doing something for the animals. I slept some, but they woke me at 6:30 AM for food and more attention. The dog has reached a point of needing physical support staying on her feet when squatting to pee or poop and would like constant physical contact. The cat is needing more physical comforts and contact. Assorted other needs that come with aging, mostly neediness and their sense of my sensitivity to that, make them a constant distraction. It's all about love and that's why I am here, they give me the chance to give my love at near maximum sensitivity (at least on a dog and cat awareness level) and chances to do that are rare so I treasure the opportunity (I don't think their mommies quite understand why I am so appreciative that they trust me to do it, they are happy to have someone who is willing to since even their families don't want to pet sit much anymore), but I am happy they have me here in spite of the work and distraction from my needs (I haven't showered yet lol). I am finally giving myself some sitting time at the computer and out comes this rambling (supposed to be brief) entry. The dog is begging for attention, but cuddled and petted and walked and fed and gave her the whole morning so far and I need a little me time. I am realizing I need a shower and have my own aging body needs to take care of that I ignored for the past 24 hours (for the first time in many months, so hopefully there will not be any negative reactions from the body). I need to get up and do those things now and the animals will just need to be ignored for a little while. The dog is under the recliner footrest, so I'll have to figure out how to close this and somehow move her before I close this. Guess I need to roll out sideways and slide on to the floor (without straining anything). All the little challenges lol.

I'd like to catch up a bit today and tomorrow. There's always hope :)

Narf :)