Still Hoping

Even when I am not hopeful, I am still hoping. Someone will care someday. It will matter to someone other than me someday. At least it still matters to me, in case it matters. Sitting at the desk all day getting a lot of desk work done, creating new systems to monitor safety in the county, but sitting way too much for my liking. The foot is a little better today, but the swelling remains. It needs exercise, but exercise potentially causes more bleeding and aids the infection so rest, elevation, etc. Feeling one of the feeling like nobody cares moments, in case it matters. It is weird living a life where depression and euphoria are both old friends and like side by side, sometimes simultaneously. Amusing, from a distance.

This mood is likely brought to us by the wisdom of the ages, specifically the damper placed on hope when the possibility of a new friend or at least a new roommate and a new better place to live is realer than it's ever been since I moved in here. Wouldn't it be nice. A Chinese buffet dinner, though she is not into buffets. That's ok, I'm not into Nascar and she is big time. We can still get along, share the bills, and find mutual ground. There's always hope.

Arriving back here there pee on the toilet seat and it's up. Out comes the bleach spray. Into this room to write and rest the leg and maybe fall asleep early. Fatigue is strong in this one.

No TV tonight. Just me.

Narf :)