TV, Internet, and Me

Watched some X-Files, then somehow came across something about a netflix series about a 1980s cult in Oregon and in the article it pointed to a millennial youtuber with millions of followers who never heard about it and I wanted to see who this famous youtuber was so I spent some time visiting and exploring her channel. I'll write about that somewhere sometime. It took a half dozen videos (or more), but she sort of won me over and helped expand and clarify my understanding of the youtube phenomenon and how silly I was not to add vlogging to blogging. I would likely have been out there with them if I was not so whatever - old and poor and fat and shy and, did I mention whatever - at the time. I've got pockets full of excuses.

Chocolate milk kept me company while switching from TV to youtube. Since Tnnman was cooking pot roast and I don't like pot roast and Harpo rarely wants to go out for several reasons and I had no one else I really felt like calling, dinner was Costco pizza and hot dog, Wawa long john, a Taco Bell quessarito my way (supreme, extra beef, extra cheese... they seldom get it right because they put less rice or less everything in it because they are used to double wrapping it tightly which is why I ask for extra cuz it's is normally way more bread than anything else), a chicken and cheese frozen something, and some chocolate.

Then, reading some more articles and writing. I found me again, in a letter to Jackson again, and realized how much believing someone cares about me and might want to know me is so very vital to my existence and happiness. Reason to live important. More. Reason not to die important. That's about as important as anything can be in this life.

So I keep believing and writing, even if it's all just in my mind.

Narf :)